'No wonder you guys keep taking licks!'
THESE are troubled times indeed for West Indian cricket. Having been on the receiving end of an almighty thrashing at the hands of England over a four-match Test series, the "Bank of Bermuda West Indies Pre-Champions Trophy Cricket Tour" ? to use its horribly convoluted title ? was billed as an opportunity for the Windies to regroup and recharge the batteries ahead of the second most important limited overs competition in world cricket.
But anybody who went along to watch them over the last ten days ? shelling out $20 in the process ? could be forgiven for thinking they were here simply on a bit of a jolly ? an all-expenses paid vacation complete with a five-star hotel and round the clock transportation to any destination their little hearts desired.
From press conferences to training grounds, from social functions to match-days, there was only one characteristic the Windies seemed capable of demonstrating ? absolute, unadulterated lethargy.
Their performance in the field during the humiliating defeat to Barbados last Saturday crystallised in one three-hour session everything which is wrong with their current set-up at international level.
Firstly, the captain Brian Lara. Trotting aimlessly back and forth to his position at first slip, the man who holds the world record Test and First-class score appeared aloof and inexplicably indifferent to the mediocrity that raged around him.
And for anyone with even an ounce of tactical nous, it was not hard to see why Lara has often been criticised, by Sir Vivian Richards in particular, for his less than impressive strategic acumen.
As well as Bajan opener Martin Nurse batted against them on Saturday, Lara's decision to 'challenge' the left-hander with the occasional legbreaks of Ramnaresh Sarwan in only the 14th over ? particularly with the fielding restrictions still in place and a 50 yard leg side boundary ? bordered on the deranged.
But it wasn't just that the Windies were bad or having an off-day. They were downright unprofessional in everything they did.
The warm-up before the game was lackadaisical and lacked an obvious structure, supposedly international quality bowlers seemed incapable of bowling six consecutive balls in the right areas while the poor quality of the fielding at times beggared belief.
Sylvester Joseph, no doubt distracted by his in-depth conversation with a pretty girl on the boundary edge, dropped a catch at square leg off Nurse when he was on only ten that would have embarrassed the lowliest of club players while a total of four obvious run out opportunities were missed as the Windies fielders consistently failed to pick the ball up cleanly.
By now however, even the most well-oiled of spectators had had enough.
"No wonder you guys keep taking licks!" shouted one ? perhaps not all that elegantly put, but certainly along the right lines nonetheless.
If the international Press is to be believed, the West Indies have more than a fighting chance of reaching the latter stages of the Champions Trophy. And their record in one-day cricket over the last few years has indeed been more than respectable.
But if their demeanour in Bermuda is anything to go by, this is a team which is physically and psychologically crushed and in need of an extended lay-off and some drastic rejigging. The smart money would be on an early exit.
The other controversy of the tour was, of course, the pitch at the National Sports Centre.
Though the head groundsman at the NSC, Trevor Madeiros, worked tirelessly and without complaint to try and get the wickets to hold together, his efforts did not stop Windies' vice-captain Sarwan labelling them the worst surfaces he had ever encountered.
As is so often the case with local cricket, every man and his dog have voiced opinions over the cause of the troubles, while Sports Minister Dale Butler has asked the Trustees to submit a report, detailing their recommendations for improvement.
What is clear, despite Bermuda Cricket Board's adamant denials, is that Bermuda's future chances of being considered for one day internationals and Test matches ? a clear goal of the current administration ? have been struck a monumental blow.
And while we are on the subject of problems at the NSC, can somebody please explain why for the majority of the summer, when Bermuda hosted a major regional tournament, was there not a comprehensive scoreboard at the ground? Throughout the Americas Championship and the Intercontinental Cup game against USA, players and spectators were required to read a poxy little black board propped up against the pavilion, which only recorded the total, the wickets and the overs and from the bleachers on the Frog Lane side of the ground was extremely difficult to read.
Having invested millions of dollars in that site, it is difficult to comprehend why a state of the art electronic scoreboard was not included in the plans ? or if it was, then why it was not ready for a major cricketing event on local soil.
Another complaint if you don't mind. While the new pavilion on the North Field certainly is pleasant on the eye, whoever designed it clearly had little concept of what a pavilion should offer. The changing rooms, for instance, are much too small and can only cope with a total of nine cricketers and their kit. This writer, playing for a BCB Development Eleven against Lloyd's Cricket Club in June, was forced, along with two others in the 12 man squad, to change in the unpleasantly moist confines of the shower room, with our equipment sprawled out across the sodden floor. Now while this might be an acceptable inconvenience to local club players, for internationals it is simply not up to scratch ? as a few of the West Indies and Barbados squad members were certainly not afraid to point out.
Secondly, although it might seem rather obvious, it is important in any cricket pavilion to make sure the view of the players and spectators is completely unobstructed. But in our facility, the scene across the field from the players area ? which should be on the first floor and not at ground level ? is interrupted by a succession of wide pillars while spectators who wish to sit on the upstairs balcony have their enjoyment interrupted by a thick black railing directly across the line of play. While the structure itself is impressive, the logistical nuances of a cricket pavilion have been embarrassingly overlooked.
On a more positive note, Bermuda's narrow victory over Barbados on Tuesday night was wonderful news for all those who care deeply about the welfare of the local game. Triumphs such as that one are a clear indication that Bermudian cricketers have the raw ability to succeed at a higher level ? but need the proper infrastructure and financial support in order to do so on a basis.
It is now up to the BCB to keep feeding the momentum generated by the win by designing a comprehensive winter programme for the national squad in preparation for the ICC Trophy in Ireland next year. Between now and then, Bermuda needs to play in a minimum of 12 limited over matches both at home and abroad. Only by playing together on a regular basis against good quality opposition will Bermuda stand a chance of grabbing one of the five qualification spots for the 2007 World Cup.
One can only hope that the BCB will now step up to the plate.