Mother shares pain of Family Court custody battle
A single mother whose child custody case prompted a judge to issue a stark warning about the state of Bermuda’s justice system has called for better treatment of domestic violence complainants.
The woman, who cannot be named for legal reasons, was embroiled in a lengthy custody wrangle with her former partner which resulted in a Supreme Court ruling highlighting the “urgent need for greater investment” in both the court system and the Department of Child and Family Services — and the importance of impartiality in domestic abuse cases.
The judgment has enabled the 29-year-old, who claimed her child’s father knocked her unconscious and stole their passports, to bring up her five-year-old son in Canada after the move was deemed in his best interests by Assistant Justice Alexandra Wheatley.
However, the woman alleged she was treated terribly by Puisne Judge Nicole Stoneham, who initially presided over the Family Court case, and that social workers also failed her.
She claimed Mrs Justice Stoneham allowed her former partner to “stand up, hover over me and yell at me for an uncomfortable amount of time” during a hearing and let him have relatives in the courtroom, while she was not allowed the same.
The mother told The Royal Gazette: “I couldn't imagine how hard this would have been.
“I know that I'm a very, very strong woman. I couldn't imagine anyone else going through this.”
She added: “I fought very hard for my son.
“My son had to see me go through so much and it was points that we were going through that I had to continuously tell him ‘I'm fighting, I'm fighting for you, I'm fighting them’.”
Mrs Justice Wheatley’s December 2025 ruling described how the previous judge made decisions about the care of the child without hearing from either parent.
She wrote how the transcript of an October 2023 hearing showed Mrs Justice Stoneham’s “refusal to hear the mother”.
That included telling the woman, after she asked to speak on behalf of her son: “I’m growing old and short of patience and when I say stop talking, please stop talking. Stop. Yeah? Just stop.”
The ruling quotes Mrs Justice Stoneham as adding: “I don’t want to hear you.”
The custody case began when the child involved was only a year old.
The parents separated and the Bermudian father made an application to the court to stop the boy being removed from the island.
In October 2023, the couple had briefly reconciled and were living together, although she was planning to leave.
The woman alleged that the man knocked her out after she returned home on the back of a friend’s bike and then took her and their child’s passports from their suitcases.
“He knocked me out in the kitchen and then I woke up in the kitchen looking sideways to to the living room where they were just sitting and they were both [father and son] just staring at me wide-eyed,” she alleged.
Mrs Justice Wheatley’s ruling notes that the father’s application to stop the boy leaving the island was dismissed, yet Mrs Justice Stoneham went on to order that the boy’s passport be held by the court and suggested to the mother that she return to Canada without her child.
The woman told the Gazette she felt she and her son were “up against a … chain of command” which did not take his welfare into account and which favoured the father, despite evidence of his mistreatment of her.
She said Mrs Justice Stoneham referred in court to being friends with the father’s grandmother and that they went “way back”.
The mother’s lawyer asked for the judge to be recused but that became unnecessary because Mrs Justice Stoneham was suspended while an allegation of judicial misconduct against her was investigated regarding a different custody case involving allegations of domestic violence.
The judge was exonerated by a tribunal in that matter but has not returned to the bench and has sued the Governor, Chief Justice and Attorney-General for violating her rights, with judgment pending.
In the case of the mother from Canada, Mrs Justice Wheatley was highly critical of the DCFS.
She wrote that the department’s treatment of the woman was “astonishing” and that the court-appointed social worker (CASW) “spent an inordinate amount of time of what appears to be advocating for the father rather than playing a neutral role for the court”.
She wrote that the department’s failure to investigate the mother’s allegations of domestic violence was “abysmal” and that it abused its powers by threatening to have the mother arrested for not taking her son to nursery.
The Assistant Justice described as “horrifying” the evidence of a CASW, who said the failure to take into account the allegations of domestic violence was an “oversight” and the abuse “couldn’t have been that bad, as she went back to him”.
The judge wrote that the father was “disrespectful and aggressive” to the mother in court and that his “overall contempt” for her was obvious and would undoubtedly negatively impact their child.
In an 800-word postscript to her ruling, the Assistant Justice wrote that the case shone a light on the under-resourced justice system, including the need for more than the two CASWs in the Family Court at present, for proper training for those dealing with domestic abuse cases and for the interests of the child to be paramount.
“Bermuda is one of the most affluent countries in the world yet lacks critical resources to protect its most vulnerable,” wrote the judge.
“Without immediate funding to hire more CASWs and provide ongoing training, the impact will be catastrophic.”
She added: “For parents and children who have experienced violence, court can be frightening and confusing.
“Natural justice requires that their voices are heard fully and safely, and that courts listen with care and without bias.
“Laws alone are not enough; we need resources.”
Juanae Crockwell, the executive director of the Women’s Resource Centre, which helped the mother get legal representation, said Mrs Justice Wheatley’s ruling was “very revealing of the systemic challenges that happen in Family Court”.
She described the postscript as “very strong”, adding: “I would love people to read [it] because this is a member of the judiciary outlining concerns, serious concerns, with the process.”
Ms Crockwell said she tried to accompany the mother for one Family Court hearing in front of Mrs Justice Stoneham but was asked to leave, despite the father having family there to support him.
She questioned why the court kept the boy’s passport after the alleged assault, even though it was “obtained illegally; it was obtained through him [allegedly] being abusive towards her and taking the passport”.
Ms Crockwell described the case as indicative of a system in need of overhaul.
“We've seen instances where someone who is clearly a perpetrator of abuse has been able to successfully get a protection order against the mother of their children and there’s no actual investigation into what's really occurred.
“Sometimes it can almost be — and this goes on both sides, for males and females — about who gets to the authorities first and who tells their story first, and that's not how justice is supposed to work.”
There was no response to a request for comment from the Chief Justice. It was not possible to reach Mrs Justice Stoneham.
The Ministry of Youth, Social Development and Seniors, which is responsible for the DCFS, said in a statement last month that efforts to “strengthen the family justice system, including workforce capacity, training and service improvements” remained a priority.
It added: “We recognise the critical role that court-appointed social workers play in supporting the Family Court and ensuring that the best interests of Bermuda’s children remain paramount.
“Children and families involved in court proceedings deserve timely, high-quality assessments and support.”
Assistant Justice Alexandra Wheatley warned in December of a “catastrophic” effect unless there was immediate funding to hire more court-appointed social workers and train those dealing with domestic abuse complainants.
The Ministry of Youth, Social Development and Seniors said in a statement last month that the Department of Child and Family Services “continues to assess its operational needs and has active recruitment for additional staffing to strengthen service delivery, reduce backlogs and improve responsiveness to court-directed matters”.
The statement said the DCFS had two CASWs responsible for preparing reports on matters involving custody, care and control, access and other family proceedings — and demand for those services had “grown significantly in recent years”.
“At the beginning of 2025, 30 matters were carried forward from the previous year and an additional 36 new matters were received.
“During that period, court-appointed social workers completed 31 social inquiry reports, 35 addendum reports and appeared before the courts on 140 occasions.
“At present, capacity has been strengthened through the reassignment of a second officer from another section of DCFS to assist with this work, reflecting the Government's commitment to improving services for children and families.”
The statement added: “For several years, DCFS has operated with one substantive court-appointed social worker, dedicated to preparing social inquiry reports and supporting Family Court proceedings.
“The system’s needs have grown more complex over time and the Government is meeting this demand.
“The Government remains focused on ensuring that Bermuda's family justice system is fair, responsive and appropriately resourced to meet the needs of children and families.”
• To read the December 2025 ruling, see Related Media
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