Mother is left living in fear
A mother said she fears for her safety after her ex-husband escaped jail time despite breaching a domestic violence order imposed to protect her.“I was very angry and very frustrated,” said the woman, after the man got a 12-month conditional discharge.“Once he got the slap on the wrist and left, I wondered if it was worth it because I put so much time and effort into this and nothing was done.“It's hard seeing how many women have been killed by their exes. It's a bit scary they don't take these things a bit more seriously.”The 30-year-old man admitted breaching the domestic violence protection order (DVO) when he appeared in court on Tuesday, almost three months after his wife told police he'd phoned her, in contravention of the order.Neither the man nor the woman can be named due to a law against identifying parties to protection orders.According to the victim, she decided to get a DVO after a history of abuse. The couple met, married and had a son within a year of meeting each other.However, she said her husband became physically and mentally abusive after consuming alcohol, including pinning her down on her stomach when she was pregnant with their child.She did not report the abuse to the police, nor tell her family or friends.“As a wife, I felt I could love him enough to change things or our child would change him, but I left eventually,” she explained.“When I decided to go ahead with the order, that in itself was huge for me. I was worried it would provoke him or make him more angry.“I was assured by a lawyer and the police, because I've had to report a couple of incidents, that it would be the best thing for myself and my child and that it would protect us.”The woman says she tried to arrange access to their child after the breakdown of the marriage, but this did not work out, and things ended with a divorce and child custody battle.According to her, her ex owes thousands of dollars in child maintenance.Following unwanted contact from him, she was successful in having the DVO imposed in June. It barred him from contacting her and their son.However, he called her cell phone on August 5, telling her he did not give “two flying f**ks” about the DVO, according to prosecutor Larissa Burgess.The victim called the police that same day, and visited a police station the following day.Ms Burgess told the court she could not explain why it took so long for the man to be arrested. He was taken into custody on Sunday, October 23.According to the ex-wife, the man has no fixed abode and the police called her to ask where he was. “It's not my job to be searching for him,” she noted.“When I was called to say he was arrested, they [the police] could not find my original report because the officer was off-Island. I was told to make another report so they could present it.”During Tuesday's court hearing, the man told Senior Magistrate Archibald Warner: “I don't care if she has a protection order. She could have the entire police department or the Bermuda Regiment. I just want to see my son.”He apologised for the offence, saying he was drunk when he made the call and had not read the order fully. The conditional discharge means no conviction will be recorded against him unless he gets into trouble again in the next 12 months. The Magistrate warned the man not to interfere with his ex or his child again.The maximum punishment that can be imposed for breaching a DVO is a $5,000 fine, a year in jail, or both.The victim said: “I do think jail time would have been appropriate to get the message.”She questioned why no information about the history of her problems with her ex was outlined by the prosecutor in her summary of evidence. According to her, she did not get the opportunity to meet with Ms Burgess prior to the case being presented. “I never got to talk to anyone,” she claimed. And she said of the Magistrate's sentence: “How can you put a judgement on something when you don't know the whole circumstances?”The woman feels the conditional discharge gave her ex the message “don't do it again; have a great day”. The outcome of the case has also left her fearing further incidents.“I feel like I do need to watch myself. I've had an alarm fitted in my home,” she explained.Despite her experience, the woman feels it is important for those facing similar problems to speak up. “Once I got the order, I felt like I should have done it long ago. I kept it [the abuse] to myself; I didn't tell my friends or family members,” she explained.“I went to the Women's Resource Centre and they were wonderful. I highly recommend them to anyone being abused. I left feeling so empowered.“I recommend them for anyone being abused at any level; mental, verbal or physical. If I could have done it again, I still would have gone with the order.”The woman explained that she chose to tell her story because she feels that violent crime in general in Bermuda is not punished severely enough.She also wants to advise women who are being abused: “Definitely report it, before it's too late.”She added: “Somebody needs to know [this]. I'm sure there's plenty of women too scared, or thinking ‘if I love him enough, he will change'.”
The “powers that be” need to know that domestic violence protection orders (DVO) can save lives if used effectively.
That was the message from Elaine Williams, executive director of the Women's Resource Centre (WRC), in the aftermath of a case that prompted complaints from a victim.
As reported separately in today's edition, a frightened mother says she's been left in fear after her ex breached a DVO, but escaped a custodial sentence.
Invited to comment on the case, Ms Williams revealed: “The Women's Resource Centre has seen an exponential increase in the requests for domestic violence protection orders.
“The requests are not only from women for protection from men, but the requests are increasingly for protection from violence and harassment from other women.
“Domestic violence orders are court-issued protection orders that carry the penalty of arrest if a breach occurs.
“When a woman requests our services in circumstances when protection is required, she is assessed by a trained counsellor to ascertain the appropriate action.
“That could include being referred for shelter, the facilitation of a 'summary offences letter', the facilitation of a domestic violence order, and/or counselling.”
She added: “When a protection order is required, it takes the teamwork of the WRC counsellor, court advocacy administrator, a pro-bono lawyer, the police domestic violence liaison officer and the client in order to facilitate the order.
“The decision to proceed and complete the process is entirely the client's. It is not unusual for the client to change their minds during, and even at the end of the process.
“The counsellor's job is to coach the client in making the best possible decision for herself and her loved ones and to ascertain if the client is genuinely in trouble.
“The lawyer decides if there is sufficient information to proceed with a protection order and the court advocate administrator assists the client with providing the correct information for the lawyer to proceed.”
The victim in this week's case criticised the way it was handled, and said she felt the culprit should have been jailed.
Ms Williams said: “I believe that prosecutors and magistrates are well informed concerning the laws governing protection orders.
“The problem is how society views violence against women. Violence is becoming far too prevalent in our community which desensitises the reaction to instances of violence, even against women and children.
“Understandably, each case has to be viewed individually, but if there is a case where a protection order is issued by a court, it would be a natural progression to administer the appropriate action if the order is breached.
“What needs to be understood is the potential outcome of a partner in a relationship who has either threatened or performed violence against the victim.
“Protection orders, used effectively, can save lives. We would only hope that the 'powers that be' are taking everything into consideration, including the possibility that they could be empowering a perpetrator to take someone's life.”
According to recent statistics revealed by Health Minister Zane DeSilva, one in three people have been physically abused in the past year; rising from less than one in four in 2006.
