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The importance of fathers

Dear Sir,With society’s concern regarding child poverty in Bermuda and with its driving force on welfare dependency, therefore, it is vitally important to educate families, for a better community. Similarly in the United States, it’s a national concern. So what are the primary causes of child poverty? The Heritage Foundation’s special report dated September 5, 2012, reveals that very few people know that the principle cause of child poverty is the absence of married fathers in the home and marriages. While marriage in the United States is the greatest weapon against child poverty, it continues to decline. With husbands disappearing from the home, poverty and welfare dependence increases; therefore, children and parents suffer as a result. Being raised in a married family reduces a child’s probability of living in poverty by about 82 percent. In 2011, US federal and state governments spent over $450 billion on means-tested welfare for low-income families with children, with $330 billion going to single-parent families. While the number of single parent families has tripled since the 1960s.Kathryn Edin, an author and professor at Harvard University tells us that children born out of wedlock are “seldom conceived by explicit design, yet are rarely a pure accident either.” Young single mothers typically “describe their pregnancies as ‘not exactly planned’ yet ‘not exactly avoided’.… however, not from the lack of knowledge or availability of contraceptives”. Edin continues to say the “vast majority of lower-income, low educated women, who are having children out-of-wedlock, highly desire to have children. These children bring joy, fulfillment, validation, purpose, companionship to these mothers, although it is sad that their choice was made to have children before marriage and before forming a stable committed relationship with the child’s father. Further, having children is a “heroic” choice that rescues them from emptiness. While, these mothers believe that they should have waited until they were older before having children. However, single mothers see marriage as a symbolic event and not an important part of child rearing”. The Heritage Foundation Report, 5th September, 2012.The report further states that “children from single parents are more likely to have emotional and behavioural problems; be physically abused; drink, and use drugs; be aggressive; engage in violent, delinquent, and criminal behaviour; have poor school performance; be expelled from school; drop out of high school and are three time more likely to end up in prison by the age of 30, compared to those raised in married families”. This confirms what many other reports have stated globally. Further, “Girls from single-parent homes are more than twice as likely to have a child without being married, thereby repeating the negative cycle for another generation”. According to Cynthia C Harper and Sara S McLanahan, “Father Absence and Youth Incarceration, (2004).“Young people in low-income communities are never told that having a child outside of marriage will have negative consequences. They are never told that marriage has beneficial effects. The schools, the welfare system, the healthcare system, public authorities, and the media all remain scrupulously silent on the subject. In the face of this pervasive social silence, it should be no surprise that out-of-wedlock childbearing has become the norm in so many communities”. According to Martha S Hill, Wei-Jun J Yeung, and Greg J Duncan, ‘Childhood Family Structure and Young Adult Behaviors, 2001’.Is Bermuda suffering with the same issues? In 2000 there were 67 percent of never- married mothers in Bermuda, with 85 percent custodial single parent mothers raising 41 percent of children under eighteen years of age. In addition, Bermuda’s in-wedlock births was 509 and out-of-wedlock births was 311 in 2009, compared to in-wedlock births 450 and out-of-wedlock births 319 in 2010. This shows that the percent of children born within marriage are declining and out-of-wedlock is increasing. The 2012 budget allocated $40 million for social assistance programs. In addition, $18.6 million has been allocated for Psycho-Educational Programmes — an increase of seven percent over the previous year. Also, $3.2 million is budgeted to the Department of Child and Family Services for suspected abuse and neglect on children.An article in The Royal Gazette dated September 11, 2012 (Page 6), features the Women’s Resource Centre’s director, Ms Elaine Williams, stating that they will be holding a “workshop for mothers parenting sons in the absence of a father”. In addition, they will be looking into “Mama’s Boy Syndrome”— how young men are becoming emotionally tied to or dependent on their mothers for decision making and coping skills”. Ms Williams included that they will be looking into “mothers who emotionally incapacitate their sons, allowing them not to work, also, allowing them to assume the role of ‘the man of the house’, in the absence of fathers”. This highlights what the report shows — the lack of importance of fathers. Although, encouraging that they will also be holding a workshop for “fathers raising daughters”. However, this may only apply to a few single parent fathers, as mothers are awarded 85 percent of custody over the children, as previously stated.In 2000, Bermuda’s annual median income of married couples was $83,070. Compared to single fathers was $49,317 and single mothers $39,357. A caveat: with the annual median income of single fathers, they are required to maintain two homes for their children. In 2008 the Low Income Threshold’s total expenditure requirement for a basket of goods was $45,770 for a single parent with one child, compared to $57,511 for two parents with one child. It is important to note that incomes have not risen for years. Hence, promoting healthier relationship towards marriages or shared parenting makes more sense in order to reduce poverty, which will result in better outcomes for children.If these children bring fulfillment, purpose, and companionship to the unwed mothers, as Ms Edin claims, could this be selfishness on the part of these mothers? Is society doing a disservice to these children by allowing and assisting mothers by bringing up children without the benefit of a father?EDWARD TAVARESFounder Childwatch