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Don’t be giving me your stinking germs

This one is clearly a pet peeve for many of us. I can tell you that I've had more e-mails about this subject than any other irritant. Any guess what it is?

Coming into work sick and spreading nasty germs everywhere! It amazes me the amount of times I would hear someone in the office coughing and sneezing their germs all over the place.

Just the other day I stopped off at a bar with a colleague for a quick one on the way home. I knew the wife was going to be in one of her moods that night, and not one of those good moods either. You know, the one when I need to take that magic little blue pill. You see, I had forgotten to pick up my drawers after I got out of the shower that morning ...

Well anyway, I walked into this bar when I saw the bartender sneeze into his hand and after that he immediately grabbed a glass and poured me a wine. Well, let me tell you, boy did I “whine”. I looked at him said “Are you for real?” and walked out. I don't care what vintage that wine was, phlegm and germs where not going to bring out the bouquet in that wine.

You know there was one time that I would think to myself, what a trooper, here they are feeling sick and yet they still come to work. It didn't take me long to see right through that BS.

You see the only reason they are at work now is because they have used up all their sick days for, as some call it, a “mental health day”.

No, nothing wrong with them mentally, well at least not with most of them. It's one of those days where they just can't be bothered to come to work, usually 'cause they partied the night before or something good was on TV late or, and this a fave, it's raining. Then they call up coughing on the phone, put on that stupid phoney sick voice and say, “I think I got the flu, I won't be in today”, which is amazing 'cause they've had the flu three times this year already.

And that is if they call in this one really gets me, they flippin' well e-mail in to say they are sick. Now that's just the biggest insult of all they don't even have the guts to lie to you over the phone!

Now tell me this, how is it possible to catch the flu three or four times a year and by some miracle of God they manage to be bright as rain 24 hours later? Perhaps this is a rare flu strain only found in Bermuda?

No, the shocker is when they get to work they are told “you know you have already used up all your sick days this year” and get this, it's only the first week in MARCH!

So what happens now is that when they do get sick they now have to come to work or lose a day's pay. So they are not out of pocket, they chose to come in with all their germs and selfishly start sprinkling them all over the office.

The other brain-dead idea I've heard of is companies rewarding you for not taking time off sick in a given year. What de hell is that all about?! Let me see if I get this one right, someone is paying you to come into work so you can pass all your germs to co-workers and make everyone else sick. Isn't that counterproductive?

Well all I have to say is, keep your sick tail home. I get no pleasure in catching your dirty, stinking germs and having to waste my day(s) in bed with a bottle of Night Nurse.

Bless you!

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Published March 26, 2012 at 6:00 am (Updated March 25, 2012 at 8:38 pm)

Don’t be giving me your stinking germs

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