Several funny things coming out of the London Olympics that haven't been reported are going to be reported here.For instance, did you hear about the three young men who wanted to get into the opening ceremony but didn't have tickets?Well, one of them, a Scotsman, grabbed one of those metal manholes you find on the road, put it under his arm and said to the guy at the gate..."Name's McTavish. Event is discus." He was let in. The American with him immediately saw the opportunity to do likewise, so he picked up the long fibreglass pole that was laying on the ground in a construction site. "Yo, what's happening? Name's Washington, event is pole vault." Gatekeeper looked dubiously at him but let him in.Then the third guy, a wily Australian with a gleam in his eye, found some barbed wire from the same construction site. He walked up to the same gatekeeper greeted him warmly and said, "G'day mate. Name's Stephenson, my event is...fencing."He was turned away.Then there was this guy called Nick Delpopolo. He has the distinction of being the first athlete kicked out of the London Olympics while in competition.Delpopolo was expelled for failing a drug test. His was the fifth positive test for a banned substance reported by the IOC since the Olympic body started its London testing programme in mid-July. The other four were caught before competing.The 23-year-old judo player on the US team goes home in disgrace.Or does he?When quizzed in a small room by IOC officials with his own team delegates in attendance, he said this about his positive urine sample"I think this positive reading was caused by my inadvertent consumption of food that I did not realise had been baked with marijuana."How do you accidentally consume weed? He must have been hungover so badly from his going-away party that he did not know what he was munching on when his friends offered him the baked snacks.This guy has some pretty funky friends if they send him baked cannabis as a gift.Then there were the two incidents just prior to the start of Usain Bolt's 100m final.Sebastian Coe, head of the London organising committee, said there would be "zero-tolerance" for anti-social behaviour. When a spectator threw a plastic bottle onto the athletics track as the men were mounting their marks, security was called. The guy seated next to the perpetrator was from the US judo team and he belted the man who threw the bottle. The crowd cheered him for his vigilante stand, so he whacked the baddie again. Security came and arrested the thrower while the judo bloke watched on as a new cult hero.So...one judo player is a disgrace for breaking the law, while another is a lauded hero for breaking the law!Ashley Gill-Webb, 34, was charged with intentionally causing harassment, alarm or distress.Now to some of the funniest lines on international TV. Commentators, when caught up in the moment and full of knowledge pertaining specifically to an event, sometimes do not realise what they are saying. When taken within context of the sport, are harmless. But taken outside...well, you decide."With that wind and rain blowing across the stadium, it makes your pole wet and harder to manage," claimed iMc commentator Anthony Lawrence about pole vaulting."Well that's all about using your energy and enthusiasm, putting your pole in the box with intent then throwing your legs up in the air," said BBC commentator Peter Matthews about the women's pole vault competition."Kevin Borlee will need to be very careful with how he approaches this because he has a big man on the inside of him." Again Matthews, assessing Belgium 400m runner Borlee's chances in the final."Demus is coming down the straight, but wait, Spenser inside her is coming even faster." This was the semi-final commentary in the women's 400m hurdles.Ian Harris, a former 400m Jamaican Olympian now on the iMc commentary team, was asked by fellow commentator George Davis, "What would happen if you went home with her Ian?"Morris replied, "Firstly, I think she would simply kill me. Then when my wife found out about it, she would kill me too." That was in reference to China's Yu Zhow.I'm glad that CableVision added sound to their channel 514 coverage although it took five days to do so. But I truly pray to God above that the ad on VSB where a shrill wicked witch from the west voice screams out, "Where are you running to Minister?" goes off the air soon....or loses sound when it comes on.Every aspect of that ad is horrid....especially the part where the words, "the Government in its unequivocal commitment to sport in Bermuda," are uttered.Remember, that same Government being lauded cut funding to Bermuda's Olympic programme this year....in an Olympic year!Go figure!