Dear Carla: No offence, but it would be nice to see more of a variety of questions and not just those that live up to so many negative stereotypes. BackontherockDear Backontherock: Thanks for your feedback. However, I can only answer what I receive. All sorts of questions are welcomed … I’m just waiting for them to be brought forward. While it may seem like the questions are only negative, these are real issues people are having that are burdening them.Dear Carla: When a child goes off to the college or university of their choice, should the father of that child be responsible for costs and if so how much? Cause my child’s father feels I should be responsible for the cost and he get off scot free. IrritatedDear Irritated: Of course he should! I see no reason why he should not even if he has not been the custodial parent. Who would not want to ensure their child has every possible opportunity for success! Funny how some people feel that their parenting or financial supports has boundaries — it doesn’t, especially when it comes to educating their child! But questions like these only solidify reasons why parents should start college funds for their child(ren) as early as possible. I started paying into my children’s college funds from the moment they were born. Although at first I felt it was another financial burden that I had to take on, I have no regrets because when it comes time for them for each of them to go to college, the funds (or at least the majority of them) will be in place and I do not have to worry about any disappointments should they not receive additional financial support. I don’t mean to sound cynical but especially if mom and dad are not together, custodial parent should plan as if they will not receive any support. Just keeping it real.Dear Carla: I’m wondering if I am the only one who is disturbed by the mental mindset change that seems to have happened in Bermuda. I am a touch over 40, and very pleased that I had my children when I did as it is a great reference point for me. But help me to understand how can someone close to my son’s age hit on me? I am fully aware that there is a major shortage of good, single men on this Island. I am aware of the ‘old age doesn’t matter’ saying as well, but it’s not that I’m totally against dating someone younger, but shouldn’t there be a limit as to how young they are? I’m NOT a cougarDear NOT a cougar: Since you haven’t said how old your son is, I’m going to assume he’s at least 20. But why be insulted? I think you should be flattered. Clearly you still ‘got it’ and are attractive … so relish it the compliment. I’m not saying date these young men but only you can determine how young is too young. Personally, five years younger would be my limit. The younger men nowadays seem to be very bold. They know what they want and they go for it. I’ve seen many May/December relationships and they appear to be working. If I was in your shoes, I would say base any young man you meet on his merit and if he seems like he could be compatible, explore the possibilities. The only thing I will definitively tell you is not to date one of your son’s friends no matter how old they are. That’s a recipe for disaster where you and your son’s relationship is concerned.Dear Carla: I have been in a relationship for almost a year and everything has been going well. We both have children from previous relationships. At first it was a little baby mama drama but it was petty and something that was never really directed to me so it was ignored. I have been nothing but supportive with the situation as I have been there before. I have encouraged him to have a civil and healthy relationship in the best interest of his child. I care for his child as I care for my own. Now all of a sudden she has a problem with me. Here’s why, according to her ... because we take pictures of us together with the children and post them on social media. We have been doing this for ages because we are not going to not include his child in the pictures when my child is. It would cause hurt feelings. Now the mother is trying to keep his child from him and will not allow the child to visit. Now all of a sudden she’s saying that she does not know me and feels their child should not be in my presence. I am willing to officially ‘meet’ her although she is well aware that I have been watching the child, picking the child up and everything else. I think she is being petty and is using me as an excuse to keep her child from my boyfriend. What do you think? I just want peace.Dear Peace: Let’s address the pictures on social media first. While I understand that you and your boyfriend do not want his child to feel left out, I think you should respect her wishes and stop posting them. In the grand scheme of things, the pictures are a very small issue that can be easily fixed. Still take them, but instead of posting them, get them printed and stick them on the fridge or in a frame where child can see them. It will mean just as much; probably more since the child probably does not have a social media account to see pictures online. Holding a child from the father for such a trivial reason is stupid and petty so take the reason away and give her nothing to hold over you guys. You also said you are willing to meet her. Go and do it. Ask her if she has any concerns, Be mature enough to take whatever she has to say and then address them respectfully. Make sure dad is there too to avoid he said/she said. Hopefully it gets better.* Do you have an issue you want to discuss with Carla? E-mail her — carla@royalgazette.com