Dear Carla: I am a single mother of a son. My son’s father has hardly done much for him but recently he has served me with court documents wanting more access. Needless to say I am angry and upset. I have to be honest ... I am starting to resent my son. he has a lot of his father’s mannerism and his dirty attitude. Sometimes I want to just drop my son on his father’s doorstep. What should I do? — RESENTFUL

Dear Resentful: Why are you taking out the ill feelings that you feel towards your ex on your son? He does not deserve that. He is an innocent child and should not be made accountable for his dad’s actions. I think that you need to seek professional help in order to sort through your anger. You really need to separate your son from his father, if nothing else in order to embrace and love your child in the way that he deserves. Listen to what you said: you were mad because he is seeking more access yet you claim you want to leave him on his door. You sound terribly conflicted. Find peace within yourself and everything else will fall into place. Trust me, I understand how you feel however once you purge your heart of negativity, you will finally be able to see and appreciate the love of your son.

Dear Carla: What do you do when you have raised a child for over 12 years and they are starting to disrespect you? I am no longer with his mother. He is starting to make unwise decisions. In the past he really didn’t get in trouble. But now when I start speaking to him about what he is doing, he throws the, “You’re not my father” line and when you tell the mother she says, “He is right. You aren’t the father”. I’m beginning to wonder if I should bother or should I just give up and move on and let him fall to his own devices, because their real father doesn’t know what goes on in their life and just pops up a few times in a year. — NOT HIS FATHER

Dear Not His Father: Although he may not biologically be yours, you ARE his father and his mother is wrong to condone his comments. I think she is being even more disrespectful than he is. While I am in no way making excuses for his actions, keep in mind that he is a teenager and we all know how temperamental they can be. Back off a little but continue to show him you love him. I’m sure he knows you love him. Although his words are hurting you, do not take them to heart. I think you and mom need to have a conversation. She needs to know that she is dead wrong for saying that to you. Funny how you’ve been good enough to raise him all these years and now all of a sudden she’s affirming that you’re not the dad? How selfish is she!

Dear Carla: Recently I was out on a date with my boyfriend. There was a guy across the bar staring in our direction and he wasn’t familiar to me. As me and my boyfriend were sitting there the bartender walks over to us and brings a drink TO MY BOYFRIEND. He said it was from the guy across the bar. When my boyfriend looked over in the guy’s direction the guys cheered him. I thought that was very odd. No one sends guys drinks!!! It made me wonder if my boyfriend is on the down low. I haven’t said anything to my boyfriend about this yet. Am I overreacting? — NO DRINK FOR ME

Dear No Drink: This does indeed seem a bit strange but to think that your boyfriend is on the down low because of it is a bit unusual. I think you are jumping to conclusions. Maybe he’s a longtime friend or an old schoolmate. Unless there are other clear signals or rumblings in conversations that may indicate that your man is gay I would suggest you leave that thought alone. Don’t even bring it up to him because that’s grounds for a massive argument.