Miserable in my own home
Dear Carla: How do you deal with an older sibling who is living with you and is being a freeloader, cocky, arrogant and saucy at the same time? You don't want to kick them out because you don't want to deal with the rest of the family who will just look at it one way: that I have plenty of space and should be ashamed of myself and should respect my elders.
It is stressing me out to let them stay here but it would be just as bad to anger the rest of my family who just wouldn't understand. What should I do? — Frustrated
Dear Frustrated: I suggest that you have a family meeting with your siblings and let them know how you feel regarding your living situation. Be honest with them and your sibling in question. And allow him or her to express to you how they feel as well. If an amicable solution cannot be found perhaps one of your other siblings can accommodate them. There's nothing worse than being miserable in your own home.
Dear Carla: My best friend has been dating a female for the last year and they say they are committed to each other. Recently, a co-worker of hers told me that another guy sent her flowers and she happily accepted them. Should I tell him? Apparently he doesn't have a clue. Or should I keep quiet? — Lips Are Sealed
Dear Sealed: Be careful about jumping to conclusions. Are you sure that the flowers were motivated by potential romance? It could be from a platonic friend. It could very well be from an admirer but what was she supposed to do? She can't control other people's actions. I see nothing wrong with her accepting them, however I think that she should have told her boyfriend so that everything could be on the up and up.
Dear Carla: Where are all the decent Black women on this Island? I always see where your friends on Facebook are saying there are no good males but I feel the same where women are concerned. I'm tired of the bar scene but it seems like many of the women out there don't want to settle down. But then if I dated a non-Black I'd get a lashing. Where are the good women? — Looking
Dear Looking: They are looking for good Black men! Why very few seem to be connecting is baffling. If I had a dollar for every female who told me she's looking for Mr Chocolate Right, I'd be rich! I know that we've had one or two over the years, but maybe Bermuda needs a dating website. Clearly many of the potential matches keep missing each other. Hopefully one can be created soon. In the meantime, make a conscious decision to smile and make eye to eye contact with women who you find attractive. Ask someone to lunch. Heck, pull them aside and then get their name. You never know what can happen.
Dear Carla: I have a 12-year-old whose behaviour is starting to get out of control. He's rude and disrespectful and has to be spoken to multiple times before I get any action out of him. I'm ashamed to say I'm starting to dislike him although I love him. I don't want to raise him anymore. His father has not been active in his life. He's married and has a stable life. I think that he should take him and whip him into shape but I don't want to disrupt his family life. What should I do? — Hurting
Dear Hurting: Disrupt his family?! Your son IS his family! Go and talk with your ex and his wife. Have an honest and frank conversation and let them know what's on the line — your son's future! Any decent female will respect that but you also have to guarantee them that you will respect their home. Their rules are their rules and your son needs to understand that. So do you, even if you don't agree. If he goes you must let them do their job. And yes I said THEIR job, because you need to accept that his wife will be in involved as well. If she's decent she will.