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Steps to Success: How to make it really dirty

To tell or not to tell: we are all on a learning journey. If we are not willing to admit our failings, how can we overcome them?

I’m talking about a secret. What were you thinking? This is The Royal Gazette, not Cosmo!

Last week, I revealed a dirty, little secret of mine that (due to some early-formed limiting beliefs) I’m rather frightened by finances and avoid money matters where possible.

Not something I am proud of or share lightly. So why did I?

Because I know I’m not alone. Sure, there were likely readers who shook their heads tutting in incomprehension, but also others who recognised themselves on that page: ‘OMG! I don’t open my bank statements either! It’s not just me then.’

And, then, there are others, still, likely to say: “I don’t do that exactly, but I have other irrational, illogical fears that burden me. I wonder if limiting beliefs are at the root of them?” Either way, I’m hopeful it inspires them to begin the journey of discovering their own reasons why, and empower themselves.

I could keep all my challenges and foibles hidden and pretend that I have it all mastered, but what would be the authenticity or the use in that? As I coach, I aim to model an approach of openness, courage and exploration.

We are all on a learning journey in life. If we are not willing to admit our failings or fears, how can we learn from them or ever overcome them?

Being afraid to admit our truth about something gives it a strange power over us.

Of course, there are things we don’t want everybody to know. I’m not suggesting we need to overshare and give our cards away. Healthy boundaries include safeguarding ourselves and sharing personal information based on established, mutual trust.

However, there may be some truths we don’t even want to share with ourselves; secret fears or feelings we don’t want to acknowledge, let alone admit to — even though if we did, we would likely find we were not alone.

A dirty, little secret can haunt us, disempower us, isolate us, keep us trapped in shame. Like the monster in the closet, it can become as big as our imagination lets it.

But, there is nothing like throwing a little light on an ugly secret and giving it a good shake out in the open to dust that dirt right off.

The only thing that makes a secret dirty is us — trying to keep it shoved down in a dark corner out of fear of looking. Once it’s out, it is amazing how quickly its power over us diminishes. Then, we can actually do something about it.

It is important to find a safe space to do this. A national newspaper might not be everyone’s go-to. Working with a coach or a therapist, where appropriate, can be an excellent opportunity to look into the crevices and discover what’s lurking.

See what you may be hiding from the light and find out how bringing it out into the open to be worked on might set you free.

Julia Pitt is a trained success coach and certified NLP practitioner on the team at Benedict Associates. For further information contact Julia on 705-7488, www.juliapittcoach ing.com.