I had another article planned for today but decided to write this one instead as I believe many of us face situations like this daily.

I was talking to a friend while she was trying on clothes and this popped out: “I look disgusting!”

She did not look disgusting in any way. It hurt me to hear this coming from someone that I love.

Racism and discrimination is disgusting. You, your body fat, cellulite and wrinkles are not.

I totally understood that she was not thrilled about what she saw. I got that she was frustrated and wanted to change her body. It’s okay to be unhappy with various aspects of yourself.

What’s not okay is to think that we are obligated to change in order to fit into boxes created by society.

As a fitness coach I value body positivity, however, loving ourselves does not prevent us from wanting to change. Self-love does not mean you’re completely in love with your cellulite or stretch marks. You can love yourself without necessarily loving every part of your body. In fact, sometimes the idea that you have to love everything can feel really intimidating and impossible; especially when you’ve spent years hating yourself or the way you look.

But if you can learn to see your perceived “flaws” without judgment, this will go a long way towards feeling confident in the skin you are in.

It’s very important that we learn to reframe our language and see our features for what they are without negativity.

Leaping from hating our bodies to loving our bodies is pretty far for many of us, especially when those body image issues run deep.

We must start to believe that our body fat, cellulite, wrinkles and stretch marks are not “bad” or “disgusting”. We didn’t create the unattainable standards of perfection the media constantly inundates us with.

We weren’t meant to demean and disrespect ourselves with hurtful language, or regard ourselves as disgusting. We weren’t born to look in the mirror and hate what we see.

So instead of grabbing your belly fat and saying “disgusting” or looking at your cellulite in the mirror and thinking “yuck”, recognise them for what they are.

Accept that it’s a part of your body, and learn to love yourself as a whole. If we can do this, we can start to tap into how vibrant and alive our bodies really are. Let’s try and put every negative feeling about your body aside, and write down the positive aspects. Think about the things your body does for you every single day, and what you can do with it.

Once you do this, you’ll realise your body isn’t so bad to hang out with.

You may not love it yet, but try and become its friend. Consider your body as your buddy with whom you work to fulfil your dreams, and B-Active For Life!

Betty Doyling is a certified fitness trainer and figure competitor with more than a decade of experience. Check her out on Facebook: www.facebook.com/B.ActiveForLife