As the year begins to wind down and the holidays approach, Bermuda naturally shifts its pace. Mornings feel cooler, the sun sets a little earlier, and you can almost sense the island preparing itself for the season ahead. But November has a way of stirring more than excitement. For many families, it brings reflection, fatigue, and at times a quiet worry about how we’ll manage everything emotionally and financially.

This is also the time of year when we hear a lot about gratitude; how we should “be thankful”, “stay positive”, and “look on the bright side”. Gratitude itself is powerful, but sometimes the way we talk about it misses the heart of what it truly means.

There’s a real difference between genuine gratitude and toxic positivity.

Toxic positivity tells us, “You should be happy; it could be worse.” It rushes us past our feelings. It asks us to smile even when life feels overwhelming. Genuine gratitude, on the other hand, makes space for the truth. It says: “Yes, this is difficult and there is still something good here.” It doesn’t silence pain; it sits beside it.

And in Bermuda, gratitude is often found not in big moments, but in the small, everyday gestures that remind us we’re part of a community:

• A friend bringing by a plate of food because they were thinking of you

• A child running into the ocean after school, laughing freely

• A neighbour checking in after a storm

• A teacher quietly noticing when a student isn’t themselves

These simple acts ground us. They remind us that kindness doesn’t need to be dramatic or public, it just needs to be sincere.

Kindness is also one of the most powerful ways we teach gratitude to our children. Children watch everything: how we speak when we’re stressed, how we treat someone who made a mistake, how we speak about ourselves when we fall short. They absorb our tone, our habits, our way of relating to the world.

We sometimes forget that emotional lessons aren’t taught through lectures; they’re taught through lived behaviour. When we slow down, speak gently, and show appreciation for simple things, children learn that gratitude is not about pretending. It’s about paying attention to what’s good, even in imperfect moments.

And this matters now more than ever. Our children and teens are carrying pressures not all of us grew up with: academic expectations, social media comparisons, group chats that never sleep. When they see us offering ourselves and others compassion, they learn emotional safety. They learn that joy doesn’t require ignoring pain; it simply means noticing the light that still exists.

As we shift towards the holiday season, be minded that we all navigate this time of year in our own way. Some families are excited; others are grieving someone who won’t be there this year. Some are stretched thin; others are simply tired. Gratitude doesn’t erase those realities. But it can soften them.

Here are a few gentle reminders for the weeks ahead:

• Start with honesty. It’s OK to admit if you’re overwhelmed or unsure. Gratitude grows from truth, not pressure

• Notice the small things. One moment a day perhaps notice the breeze, laughter in another room, or a warm meal; they can shift the emotional tone of a home

• Teach through examples. Children learn gratitude by watching how we treat people, not by being told to “be grateful”. Model healthy behaviours

• Offer kindness inward and outward. A soft word to someone else is powerful. A soft word to yourself is healing

The end of the year often brings a mix of emotions. But if we approach it gently, gratitude becomes less about performance and more about presence. It becomes something that connects us and not something we force.

Because when gratitude is honest and kindness is intentional, we create homes and communities where people feel seen, valued, and safe. And that is something worth carrying into every season of our lives.

• Chardonaé Rawlins is a child and adolescent mental health specialist, and the founder of Simply Bloom Bermuda