Parent-teacher conferences are often brief, but their impact can last far longer than the ten or fifteen minutes they’re scheduled for. A small chair. A few comments about grades, behaviour or progress. For many families, these meetings shape not only how a child is supported at school, but how they come to see themselves as learners.

For many, these meetings carry enormous weight. They shape how their children are seen, supported and understood in school. Advocating for your child during these conversations isn’t about being confrontational or demanding, it’s about being intentional, prepared, and collaborative.

The first step in effective advocacy happens before you ever walk into the classroom. Talk with your child about how school feels to them. What do they enjoy? What feels hard? Where do they feel confident or invisible?

These insights are especially important because children often experience school very differently than what is graded on a report card. This is especially true for children with learning differences such as ADHD, dyslexia, or dyscalculia, whose lived experience of school can be far removed from traditional measures of “success”. Listening to your child ensures you’re not just advocating for better outcomes, but for their lived reality.

Preparation also means clarifying your goals. Ask yourself what you want to leave the conference knowing or having agreed upon. Is it a clearer understanding of how your child is progressing? Specific strategies the teacher is using? Accommodations that might help your child access learning more effectively? Advocacy is most effective when it’s focused. Rather than trying to address everything at once, prioritise one or two key concerns.

During the conference, remember that advocacy thrives in partnership. Teachers bring professional expertise and daily observation; families bring deep knowledge of the child. Framing concerns collaboratively by using phrases like “I’ve noticed …” or “Can we think together about …” keeps the conversation productive.

This is especially important when discussing your child with a learning difference. Many children with learning differences work incredibly hard to meet expectations that that were never designed with how their brains learn in mind. Naming that effort, while also asking how instruction can be adapted, helps shift the focus from perceived deficits to meaningful support.

It’s also appropriate and necessary to ask specific questions. How is my child being assessed? What happens when they struggle? What accommodations are currently in place, and how are they working? What can we do at home to support? Are there additional supports, such as occupational therapy, speech-language therapy, etc that my child may benefit from? If something isn’t working, saying so is not a failure, it’s part of the process.

Advocacy also means speaking up when your child’s strengths are overlooked. Too often, conversations centre on what a child can’t do. Asking teachers to identify your child’s interests, talents, or moments of engagement can rebalance the narrative. This matters for all children, but especially for those with learning differences, who may internalise years of messaging about being “behind” or “difficult”. Strength-based conversations help ensure your child is seen as a whole person.

Finally, remember that advocacy does not end when the conference does. Follow up with an e-mail thanking your child’s teacher for meeting, summarising key points discussed and next steps. Check in with your child about any changes that were discussed. If needed, request additional meetings or support.

Remember, parent-teacher conferences are not performances, evaluations or verdicts. They are conversations. When families approach them with curiosity, clarity and compassion, both for their child and for themselves, advocacy becomes less about pushing against a system and more about building a bridge. And every child deserves someone firmly in their corner as they cross it.

At BCCL, we know partnering with parents can only make a child’s team stronger. We also know that it can feel overwhelming knowing what to say in order to effectively advocate for your child. That’s why we created a free resource page for all families in Bermuda looking for advice and support. Families are encouraged to download our free Parent-Teacher Conference Guide at bccl.bm under the Resources tab.

∙ Lindsey Sirju is cofounder and deputy head of Bermuda Centre for Creative Learning