It is back to school time again, and you know what that means - time to get your children organised. Sure, you can run out and get every organisational tool on the market, but what good will they do if your child does not use them?

“Some kids are naturally more organised than others and those children make their parents’ jobs a lot easier,” says Cathy Sousa, owner of Metamorphosis Coaching.

“Then there are kids who seem to almost thrive in a chaotic environment, except it doesn’t get them anywhere.”

It is important for children to be organised because, although we may think they have it easy, their brains are naturally taking in everything around them: “For them to then add all these things they need to remember for school, it’s challenging.”

First and foremost, she asserts, parents themselves need to be organised in order to teach organisation to their children. This also speaks to parents who over-schedule their children.

“We like our kids to be well rounded in more than one area, however, we’re not recognising the demands this places on our kids and ourselves.

“We have to realise they have to rely on us for the organisation in their lives.”

An over scheduled life will naturally be chaotic, she adds, and has a tendency to have a lot of negative consequences as it can affect the relationship you have with your child because you are modelling chaotic behaviour.

If you want to teach your children to be organised, it is best to start from a very young age.

“That old saying, ‘There’s a place for everything and everything in its place’? It’s brilliant!” Mrs. Sousa chuckles. “You want to teach your child to stop and think about putting something where it belongs rather than just putting it down somewhere.”

You can do this with their clothes, shoes, toys, just about anything. It helps them learn if you put something where it belongs, they will find it when they need it.

“When you get to school and keeping track of pens, pencils or paper, they are used to always recognising there’s a place to put things, and they’ll automatically know what the benefit of that is,” she adds.

Once children are older the problem becomes trying to change the way they think.

The simple solution is to give them constant reminders, but how do you accomplish this without nagging?

“You have to ask questions in a non-judgmental, non-emotional way. Use a neutral kind of tone they can take as a reminder, not as criticism,” Mrs. Sousa explains. “You can also teach them how to remind themselves, like asking them if they want to put a note in their school bag or lunchbox.

“Older students can use PDA’s - they don’t have to be sophisticated, just something that can handle a to-do list and a calendar. They just need to check it before they go to school.”

Another helpful tip is making sure your children get ready the night before: “It’s ideal to have that organisation the night before. Everybody leaves the house in the morning feeling a lot better about themselves and each other.”

Mrs. Sousa also mentiones children with ADD/ADHD or those with ADHD-type tendencies may have an organisational deficit, and they need more attention.

“There is a physiological difference in the way their brain is developed in that area and they can’t control that. It’s very difficult to get these kids to remember and to have them internalise those organisational skills,” she says.

“It’s about reminding them as well as having externally applied consequences, not just natural ones.”

This is where she stresses the importance of positive reinforcement: “Positive always first! If they have a problem remembering, you want to say, ‘That is so cool, you not only wrote down your homework but you also brought home all the books you need. You’ve saved us a lot of time, so why don’t you take an extra half an hour to do what you like’

“It doesn’t have to be presented to the child as a reward, but more as a natural consequence.”

If your child does not respond to gentle reminders, positive or negative reinforcement, you should make the effort to support them so they do not fall behind, for instance, by emailing or calling their teacher to find out when homework or projects are due.

“A lot of parents won’t provide that kind of support to kids that are really impaired because they believe it’s going to create a dependency, when the fact is, if the child is seriously impaired in this area, they’re not going to be able to do it anyway,” she clarifies.

“And teachers are getting a lot more co-operative about communicating with parents. If you can get that kind of information from a teacher, it’s brilliant because then you can support your child in getting things done on time.”