AS has become a Yuletide tradition for this column, at this time of year I declare a truce in the normal cut-and-thrust of political discourse and embrace the sentiments of the holiday season ? making a list (and checking it twice) of gifts that I would like to hand out to deserving public officials.

As protocol dictates, I always begin at the top of the Bermuda Protocol List with Governor Sir John Vereker. Now, I admit that I was sorely tempted to place a lump of coal in the Governor's Christmas stocking this year because of recent events relating to Whitehall's decision to ignore the preferred Bermuda Government candidate for the position of Chief Justice.

However, in the spirit of the season, I opted for another gift ? the book by Lawrence James. Not only does it make for interesting reading but Sir John can keep it at hand for quick and easy reference the next time there is friction in Anglo-Bermudian relations.

For Lady Vereker, the Governor's wife, I also have a gift ? a brand spanking new hat. I don't know if anyone else has noticed but at official events such as the opening of Parliament a sort of headwear competition has broken out between the ladies in attendance. Lady Vereker has been outshone on numerous occasions and is clearly in need of a new I would love to give her a hat designed by the Hat Ladies of Devonshire.

Who exactly are the Hat Ladies of Devonshire, I hear you asking? Well, when I was a boy I attended the old Elliot School: in those days there was a group of ladies who used to hold an annual hat show at the school. All of the headwear was home-made and beautifully ornamented with Bermuda flowers.

If it were possible that I could get Lady Vereker such a hat there is no doubt in my mind that there isn't another in Bermuda that would be able to hold a candle to hers at official gatherings.

For Premier Alex Scott, whose recent official visit to London no doubt opened his eyes to the reality of Bermuda's relations with the UK, I want to give courage and encouragement. So to help him guide Bermuda through these difficult times in its history I want to provide him with a copy of by Robert Payne.

The British jailed the Indian Independence leader on numerous occasions but in the end he prevailed and still led his country to sovereignty after World War Two.

Opposition Leader Dr. Grant Gibbons is still preoccupied with the question of race in Bermudian politics. Somehow I don't think that he fully understands the continuing legacy of Bermuda's racial past or the dynamics of racial thinking, period. So for him the book . After a good read of this tome, he may come to different conclusions as to why the Progressive Labour Party has won the last two General Elections.

Former Premier Jennifer Smith may be gone from the Cabinet Office but she is far from forgotten. Now she is the Deputy Speaker of the House of Assembly and is just one heartbeat away from the Speaker's chair. My friend Stanley Lowe, the current Speaker, is in robust health and will probably live to a ripe old age.

But the Deputy Speaker should be prepared to step into his shoes ? or, more accurately, slip into the Speaker's gown ? at a moment's notice. So for Ms Smith, I propose an all-expenses-paid trip to London so she can be outfitted for a Speaker's gown modelled on the one worn by Betty Boothroyd when she was Speaker of the House of Commons.

The Government should pay for such a trip, regardless of any flak they receive from political detractors. But there's one proviso: Colonel David Burch cannot accompany Ms Smith.

This year there is an addition to my list ? US Consul General Denis Coleman. Generally, the US diplomatic representative in Bermuda maintains a very low profile. That has not been the case with Mr. Coleman. He has emerged as a well-known public figure in 2003. He busily granted interviews to the print and electronic media in the build-up to Gulf War Two to explain American policy towards Saddam Hussein's Iraq.

In addition, his residence was picketed just before the outbreak of the war in an unprecedented peace demonstration involving hundreds of protestors. Later he spoke out about the American position on the Castro regime in Cuba ? and indirectly criticised Bermuda's decision to pursue cultural relations with that country.

But Cuba is just a side-show, as far as I'm concerned. America's real foreign policy dilemmas lie in Iraq and North Korea, in the pursuit of the War On Terrorism, in the emerging European Community. So I am giving him the book

No, it's not written by a left-leaning, anti-American European. The author, Charles A. Kupchan, is a professor of international relations at Georgetown University and senior fellow of the Council on Foreign Relations. He served on the White House's National Security Council during the first Clinton Administration and although he may not share Mr. Coleman's views, he is as American as a slice of the proverbial apple pie.

A day of rest, relaxation and beauty at a top local spa goes to the Most Improved Woman Politician. This year the honoree has to be Health Minister Patrice Minors. She speaks well, defends her Ministry's programmes and policies with robust determination, projects herself as confident and well prepared ? she is my kind of politician.

As for the so-called "Town" and "Country" gangs that have been terrorising Bermuda recently, my gifts for them are one-way tickets to Baghdad. If they want to exist in a war zone, then let's send them to one. But just don't start crying to come home when the bullets start flying and the bombs start exploding all around you!

And if you do end up back in Bermuda, go straight up to Warwick Camp and channel your rambunctious energies into a more constructive and socially useful outlet by serving in the Bermuda Regiment.

Recently, I have been dogged by two critics who have written Letters to the Editor complaining about the content of my Mr. Anthony Goodfellow from Paget and Mr. Bill Cook, also perhaps not uncoincidentally from Paget, are miffed with me ? clearly Paget Parish needs liberating!

Aside from getting upset with me because I did not use the courtesy title "Mister" when I referred to him, Mr. Goodfellow has agreed to disagree with my views on Independence. That's fine with me. But I am unwilling to leave anyone in the intellectual dark when it comes to my views on sovereignty, so I want to give Mr. Goodfellow a copy of the book

As far as Mr. Cook is concerned, though, who compared conditions in colonial-era Rhodesia to those that now exist in the Independent state of Zimbabwe, this debate is far from finished. For his Christmas gift, I want to give him the book And I would also like for him to focus on the Shona word (which means "to fight" or "to struggle") before he reads that account of the African liberation war in that country.

For Trevor Moniz , the United Bermuda Party MP and outspoken anti-Independence advocate, I would like to make a present of the book by Brian Lapping,just so he can prepare himself for the shape of things to come in Bermuda.

And, finally, I just want to make mention of the best Christmas present I could have possibly received ? my new granddaughter Maya Denice. In fact, Christmas came early for me because Maya Denice was actually born on September 30, ten days after her proud Grandpa's birthday ? and 21 days earlier than she had been expected.