DESPAIR is deepening among Bermuda's most troubled families, according to a charity worker who has spearheded efforts to help them over the past seven years.

Peter Carey, programme director of the Family Learning Centre, said many more of his clients seemed to be overwhelmed by their problems and suffering "absolute exhaustion" in comparison with seven years ago.

Speaking in the week of the Universal Day of the Child, Mr. Carey stressed it was essential for these families to get help to steer their children away from negative decisions that could lead them into drugs and crime.

"There is clearly a trend of more children in crisis, more children at a crossroads, where they're deciding whether they're going to be a destructive or a creative force in society," he said.

"That is something that if we don't address, then we'll all suffer greatly."

The Family Learning Centre aims to stabilise and strengthen families in crisis, using a combination of therapy and practical guidance on how to deal with their problems. But those problems had deepened since the centre was established in 1995, said Mr. Carey.

"We are definitely seeing worse problems," he said. "One doesn't know whether it's just because people are being more honest about their problems, but the trend is definitely for worse problems - particularly parents who are in an absolutely overwhelmed state.

"Whereas in the past we saw many parents who were managing to function despite having troubled, sad kids, we're now seeing a lot of parents who are at the point of absolute exhaustion and despair.

"That is the most noticeable trend, that we see more despair. Parents say they have been through the system and now there is no hope.

"That is the real worry when people think they have sought help and they still don't stand a chance. You're better off with the person who has never sought help and thinks, 'I'll give this a shot'. The person who has sought help and is in despair can be very difficult to help, because they have already given up."

Common themes with troubled families included domestic violence, sexual abuse, academic failure and drug and alcohol abuse, said Mr. Carey. He saw lack of money as more of a contributory factor than a root cause.

"I don't believe that money is a cause," he said. "Certainly socio-economic factors can make people more prone to problems, like crime, cruelty and desperation, when people have not had money, nor the things that come with it like respect.

"But we see the same sort of horrible emotional and psychic pain in people who have loads of money. And sometimes we get those type of people in here and they are no better equipped to overcome their problems than the person with no money.

"And we also see people in our community with very little money, who came from humble beginnings, who are pillars. Poverty can be a huge handicap, but it doesn't appear to be the cause."

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