Hector doesn?t always believe what politicians say but he was more optimistic when Opposition leader declared last week in the House he was ?going to waffle for the next five minutes until lunch.? The UBP?s head man did so as he kicked off the Opposition?s case for ... um, well it?s difficult to say. Hector has just as much difficulty summing up what Wayne (pictured) was trying to say as Wayne did. Apparently the UBP don?t believe the independent review on MPs salaries ? which his party had called for ? did a good job. They say the review simply plucked figures from the air. So the UBP began plucking some figures of their own, arguing that backbench MPs (or to put it another way ? all the Opposition MPs) should get paid $60,000, not the recommended $50,000 while the people who actually run the country don?t need the large hikes recommended in the review. Got that? Oh, and by the way, said the Opposition, we don?t agree with the review but we will take the pay rises all the same. Premier is apparently a man who likes waffle for lunch and decided he could bear to hang on to see big Wayne munch through his diet of sour grapes. On and on it went ? way past the five minutes Wayne was hoping for as the PLP frontbench settled down for some enjoyable heckling. Once again a politician proving perhaps he is overpaid rather than underpaid.

In the light of politicians pushing for pay increases Hector?s pals have been keeping a close eye on the country?s leaders and can report that ?s eyesight is cause for concern these days ? perhaps a partial excuse for his comment about ignoring the two-and-a-half-year-old hole in the roof of Lefroy House residential home.

Could it be that the Minister without Portfolio (pictured) can?t actually see the hole whenever he goes to the premises? Hector thinks it quite possible judging by the Minister?s difficulty, from a distance of less than 20ft, to see who was actually chairing the House of Assembly in a recent Budget session. He continually referred to Party colleague and deputy speaker as ?Mr. Speaker? and ? once his continually repeated error was brought to his attention by the Opposition benches ? apologised to Dame Jennifer and said ?sometimes my sight is not as good nowadays? before continuing, regardless, to refer to her as the male of the species. Brilliant. Give him a pay rise.

Talking of MPs pay, Hector was amazed to learn that musician gets paid almost as much as the Premier. Mr. Steede has just been awarded a new contract for performing at the Airport and will pull in a whopping $110,000 ? less than two grand shy of what Alex Scott makes. Hector will leave it to the reader to say who represents the better value.

Which brings us to the sleepy Senate. Hector was impressed to hear Senator waxing lyrical about the benefits signing up for a spell in the Regiment gives to the youth of Bermuda. All but one of his fellow senators had taken their seats in the Upper House for an afternoon discussion on the $5.9m being spent on the Regiment. Sen. Mussenden espoused the many virtues, manners and disciplines learnt by the Island?s military recruits at Warwick camp. ?They learn not to be tardy,? he said rather too pointedly as former Regiment commanding officer Senator Lt. Col. walked through the door five minutes late from lunch.

Still one has to give the dedicated members of our Senate their due. For the past week and a half they have dutifully listened to lengthy Budget briefs already delivered and dissected in the House of Assembly and then summoned up the energy to debate the topics all over again. During a session last week their enthusiasm rarely seemed to wane, despite such turgid subject matter as organic mulch, desalination and the best type of water to use for flushing toilets.

But Hector couldn?t fail to notice one slight chink in the armour. As Senator pointed out a hilarious error in the Budget Brief for Works and Engineering ? the Ministry?s outlandish claim that Tynes Bay incinerator could generate 18,000 megawatts of electricity, as opposed to the more realistic figure of 18 ? Independent Sen. (pictured, below) was filing her nails. Could she possibly have been losing interest in the discussion? Certainly Hector, who has to regularly report on the Senate?s proceedings, quite often loses the will to live. But not so on Monday, when Opposition Senate Leader was in full flow. He launched into a frenzied, loud and highly entertaining rant about the quality of mathematics teaching on the Island and then looked crestfallen when the signal came that it was time for lunch. Hector thoroughly enjoyed the performance but Sen. Larry Mussenden seemed less impressed. He reminded his colleague that the Senate?s microphones worked just fine and that members were expected to behave with decorum. Would that include manicuring one?s nails, Hector wonders?

Hector is curious as to what cause Housing Minister is showing support for through the green band he was spotted wearing on his wrist this week. Brightly-coloured bands are all the rage at the moment to signal support for the issue of your choice, and a quick Internet search revealed the green ones apply to a range of worthy causes.

Sen. Burch, it seems, may be backing leukaemia or brain injury awareness, encouraging friendliness to the environment or even campaigning against frivolous lawsuits. He might even be supporting the tsunami relief effort or stopping the genocide in Darfur. Hector is, though, reasonably sure that Sen. Burch is not using his natty accessory to declare to the world ?Kiss me, I?m Irish.?

While Hector is less than impressed by Bermuda?s politicians operating on the House on the Hill and in the sleepy Senate he has even more concern about those running the Hamilton Corporation after this week?s unveiling of the grandiose, expensive and highly improbable scheme for the waterfront. What started with a plan to make the most of Hamilton?s beautiful waterfront now seems to be a very expensive, lengthy plan to fill most of it in with concrete. Part of the rationale is to provide Hamilton with a new park. Now Hector could be missing something here but with the Bank of Bermuda so desperate to curry favour with virtually everybody on the Island wouldn?t the smart thing be to ask them to take down that horrible green box they put opposite the ferry terminal and put the park there? Certainly it would seem simpler and less costly than land reclamation which would see industrial machinery parked on the waterfront for years to come. And while we are at it why is easier to put a park on land that doesn?t exist than finish off the Pembroke park, which according to the Man Who Gets Things Done ? Col. Burch ? can?t be done for at least another ten years?

Enough of politics. An ingenious Hector reader had a brainwave that could revolutionise Bermuda?s dating scene. It was simple, yet cunning plan to amalgamate two regular columns of this newspaper, the always eagerly anticipated Divorces, which list all the failed couplings of the last three months and the recent reviews of the Bermuda International Film Festival.

All recent divorces should be given a time duration, the Hector reader said, and be given a rating in stars out of five like the BIFF films.

The end result would look something like this ? John Smith vs. Jane Smith, Duration: six months, John rating: one-and-a-half stars out of five, Jane rating: half a star. Brilliant ? not only so readers can bask in the misfortune of others, but also because the public could know who not to touch with a ten-foot-long pole, even though they are back on the market.

Talking of BIFF, a cold wind blew as film fans formed a long queue outside the Southside Cinema waiting to catch the documentary ?Walking On A Sea Of Glass? on political activist . Then Premier and his wife arrived in chauffeur-driven GP1 and fittingly ? for a film connected to the 1959 theatre boycott and breaking down of barriers to make all theatre-goers equals ? Mr. and Mrs Scott did not pull rank but joined the back of queue.

As Court of Appeal was packed with over 30 people on Thursday, there was nowhere else for Attorney General and Solicitor General to sit except for the prisoners dock.

But after waiting 30 minutes for the three Judges to arrive, the group of overpaid lawyers started to get bored looking at their watches, prompting defence lawyer and former Senator to note where Sen. Mussenden and Mr. Bourne were sitting.

?That?s an interesting place for the AG and SG to be sitting,? Mr. Pettingill quipped. ?Feeling guilty??

Former Attorney General (pictured) piped in: ?It was a joint enterprise!?

However, the pair of Government leaders protested their innocence, joking that they would get Mr. Froomkin to represent them.

?You can?t afford me,? Mr. Froomkin replied.