Bermudjan dialect is often noted to be a mishmash of accents from around the globe but it is rarely used interchangeably with other dialects in the same sitting.

So a few people were scratching their heads recently when Director of Public Prosecutions Khamisi Tokunbo slipped into a strong West Indian accent to cross-examine Vincentian drug runner Alphonso Holder during the trial of Holder and Kirk Roberts last month.

As Mr. Tokunbo - Calvin Simmons to his childhood mates around Somerset - continued his questioning, his accent gained an increasingly strong West Indian flavour, prompting an objection from one of the defence counsels on the case.

Larry Mussenden sprang to his feet in protest. "My lady," he said to Justice Norma Wade-Miller, "I have adjusted my ear to Mr. Holder's accent, but I can't quite get used to Mr. Tokunbo's new accent."

President of Bermuda College Dr. Michael Orenduff showed his cheeky sense of humour and entrepreneurial skill at a meeting of Hamilton Rotary Club this week, when he appeared as the guest speaker.

The president raised a laugh while talking about the future of education on the Island by making a quip about the new $70 million Berkeley Institute, which is allegedly some six months' behind schedule.

He suggested Bermuda set up a sweep whereby residents pay $100 for the privilege of guessing what date the new school will be finished. He said the lucky winner could receive half of the loot, while the rest would be donated to the school.

However, he said he got an even better idea after reading recent stories in The Gazette concerning the fact that drugs in the Island's prisons could be tainted. (a concept he said he found difficult to get his head around, and asked whether we should make sure all drugs going into the prisons were in their purest form)

He said perhaps Bermuda should give half of the Berkeley Institute money to the prisons instead so they could buy some drugs dogs to stop the problem of narcotics in the jails once and for all.

Hester believes it's a very good idea. In fact why not put Dr. Orenduff in charge of a new lottery for the Island, as proposed by Bermuda Football Association president Larry Mussenden in his presentation to the Hamilton Lions two weeks ago.

It seems he would make sure the money went to those areas that needed it most!

In these days of economic uncertainty it's not surprising if some of our Island's businesses indulge in a little hyperbole.

Yesterday Hester got her hands on a press release dispatched from the offices of those two fine travel firms, Meyer Travel and Franklin Travel, announcing that the pair had merged.

"This newly formed organisation will offer superlative levels of personalised customer service and travel expertise," the release gushed.

Hester's absolutely sure the new company - imaginatively named Meyer-Franklin Travel - will live up to its claims. But she was just a little puzzled when the statement went on to say that the team of travel specialists and support staff had a combined travel industry experience of more than 500 years. Hester was unaware that tourism even existed back at the start of the 16th Century.

When thousands stormed the field after Cup Match to celebrate Somerset's win on the club's 100th anniversary, Bermuda's new Governor Sir John Vereker must have been daydreaming - a common affliction of Hester's during cricket matches, she must admit.

The new man at Government House was met with stony silence when he heartily congratulated the winning team in the post-game celebrations.

While Sir John may have suspected anti-British sentiment was on the upswing, he'd actually just thrown praise and accolades all over the wrong team.

After a few moments of listening to the wonders of St. George's, a fellow podium member politely corrected the Governor.

Hester's a fairly hip girl and she sees a lot when she's about town sipping her Dark and Stormies about town. A bar fight here, a dangerous liaison there, and a surreptitious smoke in some of the seedier er...joints, that she's sometimes forced to frequent.

But she's got to wonder just who was the owner of the two American Bulldogs that are locked up behind bars at the SPCA shelter. It took Hester more than a week to catch - or should she say fetch - the meaning of the two dog's names - Sensie and Rizlah.

For those not in the know, Sensemilia is a particularly strong variety of cannabis sativa, commonly known as marijuana or ganja. And Rizla is a brand of (otherwise perfectly legitimate) cigarette rolling papers. Just something to make you - dear reader - and the Bermuda Police Service's Narcotics Department go: "Huh?"