Well, the 80 percent of Bermudians who say they didn't watch it missed the show of the year last Thursday night, when Premier Jennifer Smith delivered her television address to the nation.

If I told you Hester was in the viewing audience because she felt it was her duty as a citizen, I'd be fibbing. She watched for the same reason any woman would - to check Madam's moves out.

Our editor thought she deserved credit for at least trying. But he's a guy, and guys don't notice the really important stuff. Guys are...but don't get me started on that. Let's just leave it that I think our guy might have been underdoing it a little.

Hester thought she did a heck of a job. She looked like a woman who'd just taken delivery of a bunch of three-foot by two-foot packages from ZipX, then spent several hours with the staff of a salon, getting her hair, face and nails done... maybe toenails, too. I looked, but couldn't see. She read well - there was a moment when I thought she pronounced Qaeda with a u loose in it, but it was over so quickly I might have made a mistake.

The background was presidential, natch. There was a flag draped on one side and even a suggestion of a seal of some kind on the cloth used as a backdrop (Caricom garage sale? Be Kind to the Colonies week at Number Ten?). She was almost certainly using a teleprompter, but people are distracted by a speaker who doesn't need to read, so she looked down at her desk often enough to make it look natural. The speech was nicely written ... forget that there wasn't a lot of substance, it had rhythm, and flowed like some of the Col.'s massage oil. If you're as nosy as Hester is, you have to wonder who wrote it, and who took care of all those little details so carefully. Being in the biz, Hester sniffed out a clue in a hurry. The word "persons" didn't appear once, which pretty much rules out any Bermudian civil servant. Maybe our glamour gal is finally paying attention to that mysterious foreign expert (I hear's he's tall) she hired a while ago. What Hester also hears from down at that end of Town is that this is a big surprise to persons in high places. Maybe she's caught some kind of fever...