What about the child?

October 29, 2002

Dear Sir,

'Ya Right'.

Please allow me a space in your paper to voice my opinion on some current matters that greatly concern myself, some of my colleagues and many women in our community. There is a community group known as 'Child Watch' whose' name clearly indicates that their interests is in ensuring the well-being of children. Lately they have attempted to get our society to recognised the rights of the child to participate in the lives of both their parents.

As some of the recent Letters to the Editor state, many women in Bermuda and indeed other parts of the world considered to be civil, believe that in the unfortunate instance where parents for whatever reason separate, the children should be given to the lady to raise while the man provide financial support, being allowed to have or visit his children during court specified times.

Unfortunately there are some dead beat dads out there who don't give support and don't share time with their children. This causes many women to become spiteful or vindictive and to choose not to allow the father to see his kids when he finally does come around. These women have struggled to support without any help in some cases for years and now all of a sudden the dad wants to take his kid to a football game or the movies! Where was he when the child was sick and needing treatment, or when the child needed to be taught things that his father should have taught him or her? Now, just up out of the blue, he wants to lay claim and take the child away from the mother who has raised the child.

Many women here feel that a dead beat dad does not deserve to have time with a child that he did not participate in raising and so some don't allow them that privilege, they believe that he has no right to a child that he has not nurtured and protected. This has caused problems in our society with custody, care and control issues and access to children by parents who through the courts have had orders drawn permitting them time with their children.

In some of these cases, whether there is a court order or not, some women refuse to allow their children to go with their father because they are sick and tired of the lack of support. Most of our society seems to support this view as evidenced by the fact that if a mother keeps her child on the day that they should be with their father, clearly in breach of a court order and the father were to report it to the police to have the matter rectified, nothing would be done to ensure that the father gets to have that child on that day. However, if a father having care and control of his children refuses the mother her time with the children and she reports it to the police, the police will within the hour, be at his door and make him comply to the court order, letting him know that a court order is just that, an order, and thus should be adhered to, and rightfully so.

These injustices have spilled over and are now effecting some men who can in no way be classified as dead beats. This has caused some men to pull together and now we have a coalition of mens groups who are not only looking out for the well-being of the children but are also demanding that their rights be respected and adhered to.

These men feel that they have been unjustly treated by biased and inconsiderate lawyers who have ways of manipulating the court system against them.

Now not only do we have Child Watch we also have Fathers Resource, Fathers in Action and the latest group who are full of potential, Men For Justice!

This group wants us to recognise that men have the same rights as women!

At first I did not believe it could be so, but as I reflected on our past I came to realise that according to the 'Universal Declaration of Human Rights' of 1948 the very first paragraph or article in the original text clearly states;

All human beings are born free and equal in dignity and rights. They are endowed with reason and conscience and should act towards one and other in a spirit of brotherhood.

Since 'All human beings' as stated here would include all men who are human and all women who are human there seems to be no need to debate such an issue. Surely all men and women have equal rights to justice and should all be treated with dignity.

This lets me know that, although I detest with a passion, dead beat men and women, what has to be understood is that each child has rights. As long as that child's parents are not proven to be a danger to the child's well-being, and are willing and able to give support whether it be financial, moral or otherwise wants to spend reasonable time with them, the child should not be prevented from being with the parent.

This then does not give a mother or father who because of friction between them, the right not to allow the child his or her right to spend court ordered time with their parent. So without making a big issue of the human rights abuses of the majority of men and some women of this country, lets honestly ask ourselves, do we really care about the rights of the child?

I have been made aware of the Fathers for Families Forum 2002 organised by Justice For Men beginning November 14th. I understand they will be highlighting some of the injustices men faced in our society through the legal system which prevents them from parenting their children. There will be female guests speakers from England and Canada who will help us to recognise the human rights of children to know both parents. This will be a very informative forum to be held over a period of three days where all men and women from all walks of life are welcomed to attend.

I'm certain this group is not trying to upstage governments recent conference geared towards women, but at a cost of what I understand to be less than $50 to attend I'd say someone has made some wise decisions already.

DEAN 'NEVER A DEAD BEAT' MING

Longer and wider

October 25, 2002

Dear Sir,

I am writing this to make comments re Wednesday's paper under "Business". Headliness: "Car sales run out of gas".

Way back in the latter part of the Second World War, some of our MPs, at that time, received rides in the US military cars! Result? - Motor Car Act presented to the house and passed!

Now back in the middle '80's I was on the Road Safety Council and we were an advisory Board to the Minister - the Auto Dealers asked for a meeting with the Board. Some stories were presented then as they have come with now. Sales are down - can't get any more small cars - we will be forced out of business. They were turned down. The only new thing they have presented to try and make their case stronger and hence line their pockets - the consumers, they say, want larger cars for families! longer and wider! The MPs of today, as was the case in the '40's - the taste of longer and wider cars - hence to pending legislation! Has this been to the Road Safety Board? Have they advised the Minister that this is in line with road safety? If yes, then the meaning of road safety has escaped me. Also, they should all be replaced including the Minister, in my opinion.

Mark my words - the next piece of legislation - widen most of our roads. Why? They are hazardous to the road users. You see it has already started. No buses out of Dockyard, roads are too narrow. Have the buses gotten wider or are the drivers incompetent!

There are so many things that can be accomplished with a little thought just to try and keep this Island unique, but no, some are hell-bent to destroy. Thank the Lord that I am on my way out and not just beginning.

K. A. TRERICE

Some fine examples

October 29, 2002

Dear Sir,

When I saw the mention of the Bermuda Sports Hall of Fame in Friday's Gazette, it reminded me how important I think this is for Bermuda.

Not only to honour the significant sports accomplishments of Bermudians - within Bermuda as well as internationally - but also to provide role models for younger Bermudians.

Additionally, it would be of great interest to many tourists who may not be aware of the extraordinary accomplishments of athletes in an island with Bermuda's population.

I hope the Sports Hall of Fame will move forward and be accomplished just as quickly as possible.

SUE KNOWLES

Southampton

Where are we heading?

October 28, 2002

Dear Sir,

We just hear on the news that a tourist has been stabbed this morning on Front Street, in front of his family. Once this piece of news reaches Stateside it will no doubt bring the visitors back in swarms!!?

On another note, about twenty years ago we bought our daughter a new Peugeot moped for her sixteenth birthday. This was the favourite vehicle for teenagers at that time, and she was so excited to receive it. Alas, about four weeks later she called us from Hamilton to say that her new bike had been removed from the Shed on Front Street, and I can still hear the devastation in her voice as she tearfully told us this news.

Naturally we called the Police but were told that the chances of getting it back were zero as cycle theft was "a major problem". The bike was never seen again. Now, twenty years later it is still a major problem, so where are we going Bermuda?

I think it is time to follow the example of the UK and have cameras on every street corner and parking lots, I know we have some cameras around Hamilton, but it is not enough, and most of all, the courts have to get tougher. The fact that there are still many thousands of dollars in unpaid fines out there is a good example on how soft we are. What is our motto? - Bermuda is another world? - get real!

SEEING IT AS IT IS

Pembroke