Cloud cuckoo land

March 6, 2003

Dear Sir,

I should like to claim the honour of having heard the first cuckoo this year (cuckoos in Bermuda, of course, being car dealers pushing each other out of the cosy nest they've built for themselves).

Every year we hear their chirping about there being no cars available that comply with Bermuda's draconian size restrictions. Obviously there are hundreds of such models available, but small cars mean small profits and that would never do.

And oh the job losses that will result! Now if Bermuda has 22,000 cars with an average lifespan of ten years, that is 2,200 new cars sold each year just as replacements. Add in a few hundred to fuel the ever-increasing number of cars on the road and that's maybe 2,500 sales each year. That figure isn't going to change just because Peugeot make the 307 an inch wider than the 306.

As an analogy, suppose the brewer decides to increase the potency of my favourite ale so that I can no longer drink two bottles and remain under the drink-driving limit. I can do one of two things: I can drink fewer than two bottles (akin to buying a 207 rather than a 307) or I can change to a less potent brew (akin to switching from Peugeot to Daihatsu). One thing I can't do (with any chance of success) is lobby Government to increase the legal blood-alcohol level. But that is what the cuckoos do each year. Amazingly, they often get their way.

And as for that dealer complaining that he would lose out as he had already advertised an illegal car! If I advertise that I am opening a gun shop on Front Street next month should I then be upset when I can't get the law changed to suit my business plans? Some people just live in cloud-cuckoo land.

ANDREW R. DOBLE

Flatts

Let parents be available

March 5, 2003

Dear Sir,

I just saw on the news a Dr. Robert Brooks, an expert on youth violence. He was asked:: "If I had a child who showed signs of a tendency towards violent traits what could I do as a young parent?"

The answer was quite simple and brimming with plain common sense: "For parents to be as available as possible to their children from birth."

Why would that be a problem? Well you see, a judge persuaded by lawyers spend their day ensuring I as a father, cannot be available to my child because the mother believes that she is mother, father, owner and creator and refuses to take notice of court orders. She never fails to remind me that no judge will take action against her because mothers are safe, and will not be jailed.

MISSING FATHER

Devonshire