t might have been a record for a longwinded Budget speech but s bore-athon did throw up some moments of light relief. Hector enjoys Ms Cox's creative use of the English language. If the word doesn't exist why not make it up? Thus we had seniors praised for their "stick-to-itiveness", which translates, presumably, to their doggedness in clinging to life. Something which seems less attractive given the Finance Minister's hints about upping the retirement age. Another gem was her pledge to wipe out BHC's $49 million debt to the consolidated fund. This, she announced euphemistically, would be turned into "an investment". Hector might try this ruse himself. The next time his landlord comes a-knocking for the latest instalment of his extortionate rent Hector won't pay but will send him on his way with these cheery words: "Don't think of it as money I owe you, just think of it as an investment." Somehow, Hector doesn't think Paula-speak will work in the real world.

After months away the politicians were all itching to praise dear departed community members. Tributes to the colourful , who politicians agreed was a larger than life character, threw up some suitably amusing anecdotes ? even if some of them weren't meant to be. One politician exclaimed that Mr. Outerbridge "put the extra P in sherry peppers". I don't know about you but Hector definitely prefers his condiments pee free, thank you very much. told the House how he spent a lot of time with Mr. Outerbridge and had plucked up the courage to ask him what was so Bermudian about his sherry peppers. To which Mr. Outerbridge replied: "Like everything else ? it's the mark-up."

Hector spent a hellish Saturday morning stranded at the Airport last week. Bad weather across the water meant that several flights from US and Canadian gateways were all delayed by several hours ? and also managed to eventually arrive in Bermuda all at the same time.

The result? Queues that resembled a Disney theme park as visitors from Toronto, Halifax, New York and God-knows-where-else simultaneously scrambled from their silver birds to the snaking Immigration and Customs lines.

Hector almost began feeling sorry for himself as he waited for his own much-missed relative to eventually appear at the arrivals gate ? but felt a whole lot better after overhearing this snippet of conversation.

A frustrated set of impatient parents, obviously as hacked off as Hector at the interminable wait for their teenage son to arrive, had their monotony broken by a telephone call ? from the absent offspring in question.

After a few grunts, the father put away his cell phone and relayed to mother: "Apparently he was so worried about sleeping in and missing his flight this morning that he decided to stay up and party all night. Unfortunately..."

Oops, sounds like the errant son ended up missing his flight after all, despite his best efforts.

Hector can just about recall using the same tactic in the days of his youth, before such things as alarm clocks had been invented. Unfortunately he's now reached an age when an "all-nighter" means making it through the night without having to get up and go to the bathroom. To paraphrase George Bernard Shaw, youth is a wonderful thing wasted on the young.

The Island's new GPS system for taxis ? hailed by the Government as the best thing since sliced bread ? is unlikely to have had an earth-shattering effect on anybody's life just yet. After all, it was only made mandatory for cabbies to carry the hi-tech equipment on February 6 and hundreds of cabs are still operating GPS-free.

Still, it seems one customer is delighted with the scheme. Transport Minister excitedly told rapt members of his party at a public meeting this week that more than 350 taxis now had the system installed.

Better yet, he had himself required the services of a number of a taxis after a "set" at his house the other night and had called BTA, the company with the most cabbies using GPS. All eight cabs he ordered arrived within ten minutes, he gushed, his face flushed with pride.

Hector had a rather different experience on Monday morning. After calling BTA twice for a ride from Smith's to Pembroke and waiting more than 25 minutes, we contacted Radio Cabs.

A taxi turned up in five minutes ? minus the costly piece of kit which the Government insists upon. We hopped in, since a BTA call operator had just admitted over the telephone that she had no idea where all her cabs were.

Hector thought the whole point of GPS was that the operators knew exactly where the taxis were. Still, we shouldn't complain. At least the Deputy Premier is getting the top-notch service the rest of us long for.

Hector's pal recently found out that there are some Good Samaritans left in the world, unfortunately, they aren't very smart. The other day Hector's pal found she had a flat tyre on the way home from work. Luckily she was still in town. She pulled over, parked in front of the MarketPlace on Church Street and telephoned her hubby who was still at work. A few minutes later he arrived, looked at the front tyre: "Yup, you have a flat. Maybe there's something in it." He then sat on the kerb and began to carefully examine the front tyre by slowly turning the wheel. A man standing by the supermarket noticed the hubby and sauntered over. "What cha doin'?" he said.

"I'm looking for a nail," hubby said without really looking up. The man disappeared, but returned a few minutes later, nail in hand. "Do you need something to let the air out of the tyre?" he said holding the nail out.

"Er... no," hubby said finally looking up from the completely airless tyre.

The man shrugged and walked away, as if to say, some people just don't know when to accept help.

Hector's and his journo pals spend a lot of time battling with less than efficient media relations people, who quite regularly manage to be unavailable on e-mail, direct lines, Blackberry's and cell phones simultaneously. So it is nice to hear the odd success story. Hector was amazed at the reaction of a BBC World press officer in London to a request for information about why the channel was unavailable to cable television customers in Bermuda over the weekend.

The press officer in question ? ? was called on her cell phone at about 10.30 p.m. UK time on Sunday. The only problem was that she was in bed in Delhi, India, where it was 4 a.m.

Despite the fact that she was clearly fast asleep when the phone rang, she leapt to attention, promising to get to the bottom of the matter for . Within half an hour, two of her team back in Britain were calling and sending e-mails flying across the Atlantic to answer the query. It was all very admirable ? particularly when the problem turned out to be nothing to do with the BBC. Hector wishes such dedication could be transferred to certain sections of Government's own media department where an inability to respond to information requests or even send out prepared press releases is becoming something of a habit.

Pioneering plans to sink a power generator off the coast of Bermuda have sent waves of excitement rippling through cyberspace.

Boffins who use the Slashdot website, which helpfully describes itself as "news for nerds, stuff that matters", have got themselves into a frenzy over the green scheme that will use ocean currents to help power the Island.

Some raised concerns about the possible impact the generator could have on global warming, and asked if it would slow down sea currents. Fears were raised the powers of the infamous Bermuda Triangle could be zapped, resulting in halves of ships mysteriously vanishing.

Could fish get caught in the turbines, another asked, leading to a nightmarish "Grinding Nemo" scenario.

One nerd, however, said these claims took the biscuit. "Imagine a cookie crumb on your living room floor," he wrote. "That's the relationship that Bermuda has to the Atlantic ocean.

"Now imagine a speck of dust 1/100th the size of the cookie crumb in your living room. That's the relationship of this turbine generator to the Atlantic ocean.

"The turbine generator off the coast of Bermuda will have the same effect on the Atlantic ocean currents that the above mentioned speck of dust will have on the wind currents in your living room."

So that's cleared that up then.