Upon the merciful conclusion of this year's instalment of the Budget Debate, the Speaker should have made the following announcement: "The 2005/2006 Budget Debate has been brought to you by the letter 'R' and the number '0'."

If you'd been paying attention, which wasn't easy, you'd have witnessed the Parliamentary version of the Three Rs: "Reading, Regurgitating and Running out the clock." That's not exactly what they teach on 'Sesame Street' when they talk about the Three Rs ? and I apologise for comparing Bermuda's Parliament to 'Sesame Street', that does a great disservice to the fine institution that is 'Sesame Street'.

The annual spectacle that is officially known as a debate has, in recent years, deteriorated into a monologue. If you were looking for MPs to go mono a mono, as in most Parliamentary democracies, you'd have been out of luck. Instead it was just mono, the endless drone of Ministers reading mind-numbing briefs dutifully prepared by the worlds most long-winded civil servants.

At least we now know why the Civil Service has exploded in size. Those 1,000 or so new bureaucrats that have been added to the people's payroll since 1998 have been furiously writing those ironically named and ever lengthening "budget briefs".

But in case you thought there was a limit on the size of a budget brief fear not. A new elevator for the House has been approved and will no doubt be put to good use hauling next year's even longer printed instalments of the Budget Monologue up to the Chamber.

So hour after hour, day after day, we were treated to Cabinet Ministers reading their briefs, regurgitating useless information and running out the clock. All this makes you wonder if the Ministers actually have a clue about the Ministries they supposedly run or are scared of the Opposition?

Do they really have this much to hide? Well, in fact they did.

The only time a real debate broke out, and we learned something new in the midst of the Three Rs, was during the Parliamentary question period and on the Motions to Adjourn.

Housing Minister Ashfield DeVent provided some of the few entertaining moments of the past three weeks, creatively testing new ways to avoid answering John Barritt's morning Parliamentary questions on the Bermuda Housing Trust.

And then there was of course Maxwell Burgess, who decided to go big game fishing on the Motion to Adjourn. Sporting some light tackle but tasty bait, Mr. Burgess didn't have to troll for long before he landed himself a Premier and a Housing Minister, two plump liar-fish ? specimens not nearly as rare in our New Bermuda waters as those Lion Fish that keep showing up in the pond.

But apart from those brief and enlightening distractions, reading, regurgitating and running out the clock was the order of the day, or the three weeks to be accurate. And once the clock chimed it was time again for our sponsor, the letter 'R'. This time it came in the form of some much needed Rest and Relaxation, Parliamentary R & R ? the centrepiece initiative of the Sociable Agenda.

Judging by the schedule MPs are keeping, we should be grateful that the Premier bothers to convene Parliament at all. The House is so infrequently in session nowadays that it's easier to find a worker at the Berkeley site than a Parliamentarian on the Hill. Evidently a few hectic weeks in, ten weeks out, followed by an eight session marathon run for the mandatory budget debate, and back out for ten is taxing work for the taxing people.

You see, real debates are unpredictable and lend themselves to accountability and transparency, two more words you heard a lot about in those budget no-so briefs, but didn't see much of in practice.

On that front, it fell to Finance Minister Paula Cox to invoke the Budget Debate's other title sponsor, the number '0'. When discussing the newly published IMF report, Ms. Cox declared that "Mr. Speaker, if this Government is not transparent then we are nothing". Well, Madam Minister, you said it.

It is however, transparently obvious why the Government is spending so much time out of Parliament and filibustering when in. Stage managed press conferences, courtesy of those fine folks at the Ministry of Disinformation, are much more pleasant than an actual debate, where insolvent housing schemes and rent hikes for seniors are revealed. Democratic institutions are highly inconvenient for those who prefer to hide behind the growing defensive line that is the Civil Service and Government Information Services.

But is there a glimmer of hope? Sadly it doesn't seem so as the prospects for another R to come to fruition seem bleak: Reform.

Many, many months ago the UBP's John Barritt submitted a proposal outlining steps to achieve comprehensive reform in our antiquated Parliamentary processes. The proposal included a number of easily implemented initiatives that would promote true accountability and perhaps the occasional informative debate.

So where does this stand today? It doesn't. It sits, and sits, and sits in the black hole of parliamentary reform known as the House Rules and Privileges Committee, chaired by the Speaker of the House and with a majority of Government members, certain to meet an unfriendly fate.

Perhaps the only way we'll achieve this much needed reform is through another 'R' ? Removal.