Hester couldn't help but have a chuckle to herself last week while flicking through the back pages of an edition of The Daily.

The Island's largest retailer of the finest foods had spared no expense in placing a full-page colour ad extolling the virtues of its ever-so professional staff.

While Hester enjoyed reading how Advertising and Purchasing manager Natalie Rego had picked up the grocery store's biggest gong of the year - the Alvin T. Ferreira Achievement Award no less - it was to the Perfect Attendance Awards section that Hester's attention was drawn. There, among all the beaming mugs of proud-as-punch perfect attendees, was a small caption that read: "Missing from Photo:..."

In a bid to save their blushes Hester will refrain from naming the two culprits who failed to show up the photo shoot but wonders why. Perhaps for the same reason that the number of staff taking `a sickie' at the store soars whenever a camera crew shows up to shoot embarrassing footage of poor workers grinning inanely into the lens for those toe-curling telly commercials.

@EDITRULE:

Is there something the Police aren't telling us? Hester was able to get her hands on a recent release from the force's `media man' Dwayne Caines informing the media of a spate of minor crimes across the Island.

Nothing unusual about that, you might think. Apart from the fact that the release was sent out last week - but dated Wednesday, February 9, 2002.

Forget CCTV, speed cameras, special task units and unconstitutional methods of stopping anyone and everyone on some dodgy pretext in the hope that there's an outstanding warrant for them - clearly the latest weapon in the war on crime is a clairvoyant. If the boys in blue can foresee break-ins weeks before they happen they should have those crime figures down to zero in no time.

@EDITRULE:

Word reaches Hester of a bizarre incident at the Bermuda International Airport recently. Cattle cabin passengers had already boarded their American Airlines red-eye to New York and were waiting patiently for take-off when they were informed of an unexpected delay.

Groans turned to guffaws when it was revealed that the cause of the "technical hitch" was the security door to the first class departure lounge which had become jammed, locking everyone inside.

The Bermuda Fire Service eventually had to be called in to rescue the first-class fliers from their temporary hold.

Hester only wishes she had booked a seat on the flight herself. Experience tells her the longer she spends clutching a complimentary pre-flight Bucks Fizz, the more relaxing her journey turns out to be.

And please, no jokes about this being some underhand strategy on the part of David Allen to get visitors to spend more time on the Island.

@EDITRULE:

Hester has heard that Bermudian employees of US-based STW have been in Bermuda recently promoting the company's money management skills to insurance companies and the Bermuda Government's pension fund administrators.

Nothing wrong with that, but Hester wonders how much time the staffers will get when Government officials find out that the owner of STW is none other than William Williams, who took himself and his company off the Island in a huff over Progressive Labour Party policies on work permits and Cure forms. Somehow, one cannot see many doors opening for the firm.