Hector hears that the future is looking anything but bright for Scott Simmons, the Premier’s personal Press Secretary.

The former Progressive Labour Party spokesman was elevated to Dr. Brown’s newly-created, closely-knit coterie shortly after the Prem took office last October. His duties? Responsibility for keeping the Island’s media — and the public — informed about all the positive comings and goings of the new leader of the Third New Bermuda.

The job had previously been held unofficially by Government Information Systems supremo Beverle Lottimore as one of her tasks.

Nevertheless, the new Prem of the New, Newer, Newest Bermuda, obviously set great store in both the new post and hired Mr. Simmons on a $102,000-a-year salary with offices on the Cabinet grounds.

Less than five months on, Mr. Simmons prospects are looking a little more bleak after he was banished to some windowless basement deep in the bowels of a faceless Civil Service tower block. How the new location will help in getting Government’s message out loud and clear, Hector isn’t sure.Not that appears to be much to do. Despite Premier Ewart Brown>declaring he would be open to the media he has been noticeably reluctant to engage in anything other than some soft focus Hello-style profiling beloved by the Bermuda Sun where the questions are about as searching as asking who chose the colour of his curtains. At The Royal Gazette the questions are a little harder. With the Premier off on his rolling world tour Royal Gazette journalist tried to get a response on Trevor Moniz’s claims that the Premier, in creating a new healthcare facility for his medical company while closing a Government funded clinic, had a conflict of interest. The hack waited patiently, the deadline loomed and Mr. Simmons earnestly came back to reassure him that the Premier definitely wanted to reply. Time ticked on. Nearly two hours later came the statement: RI will not dignify Mr Moniz’s ridiculous statement with a response.” Premier Browm (sic) states. This now seems such a common refrain so why not just replace Mr. Simmons with an answer machine saying: “We will not dignify whatever it is the Opposition is saying with a response.” and save us all the $102,000? And it seems another of the Premier’s growing entourage might need a bit of a media makeover. Wayne Caines was holding forth in the Senate last week on Tourism. Despite reading from prepared notes it was, as one veteran television broadcaster exclaimed: “The worst Senate presentation I have ever heard!” Sen. Caines stopped, stumbled, read out figures wrongly and increasingly lapsed into long silences. Hector is told the whole thing was excruciating for all who witnessed it before it came to a grinding halt to the relief of all. But that didn’t stop Sen. Caines from ringing The Royal Gazette bright and early next day to complain about its coverage as he again alleged he had been misquoted in a later exchange with Sen. Bob Richards. If only he would actually listen to himself he might actually see where the problem lies. Hector is reminded of one of Winston Churchill&17;<$>s barbs about one of his less gifted colleagues: “He is one of those orators of whom it was well said, ‘Before they get up they do not know what they are going to say; when they are speaking, they do not know what they are saying; and when they sit down, they do not know what they have said’.” Only, as a Senator, Mr. Caines manages all this from a sitting position.Hector was amused with the crowd’s reaction to Premier Dr. Ewart Brown when the Cricket World Cup players emerged from the airport. With 700 people screaming and singing the Premier attempted to hush them just by raising his arms. However the applause continued for several minutes as the crowd showed the players just how proud they were. One bold trombone player broke into tune whenever the Premier began to speak. Eventually he got a word in edgeways. Education and Sports Minister Randy Horton fared slightly better using his best school yard voice to calm the boisterous crowd. But it wasn’t ‘til skipper Irving Romaine spoke that the crowd noise started to die down. It’s just a suggestion, but perhaps the Prem’s entourage should remember to bring a megaphone the next time the Premier addresses such a large crowd. Or better still give the real heroes their moment and don’t try to muscle in.