Some of Hector’s United Bermuda Party friends are getting a bit miffed with the continual puffing up of Premier Alex Scott’s “bilateral” visit to Washington, DC — and it’s not just because Wayne Furbert’s invitation got lost in the post.

No, those with long memories have been quick to point out that Mr. Scott’s “major meetings” haven’t really been a match for the UBP’s Premiers.

Sir David Gibbons, Sir John Swan and David Saul<$> all had one on one meetings with the big man himself — the President of the United States.

Indeed, Sir David met with Jimmy Carter in the late 1970s when negotiations over the Tax Treaty were underway, Sir John met Ronald Reagan and George H.W. Bush and Dr. Saul met Bill Clinton.

By comparison, the UBPers sniff, Mr. Scott met with Susan Ralston, who has the Monty Pythonesque title of Assistant to White House Deputy Chief of Staff Karl Rove, who incidentally, just had his job description sliced in half.

Ms Ralston is described as the manager of Rove’s office and is reported to be in charge of presidential events.Bermuda history buffs have reminded Hector that claims by Premier Alex Scott<$> and US Consul General Gregory Slayton that Bermuda and the US have enjoyed 230 years of unbroken friendship aren’t exactly true.

Indeed Midshipman Dale, an American victim of the War of 1812 buried in St. Peter’s churchyard, might well be rolling in his grave at the thought. In the 1840s, cadets from West Point used to “visit” Bermuda to spy on the fortifications that were being constructed to turn Bermuda into the Gibraltar of the West. And while those defences were partly designed to ensure the security of the British Empire against old enemies France and Spain, the big worry throughout the 19th Century was the ever-expanding USA.

Things didn’t get much better in the US Civil War when many (mostly white) Bermudians backed the South, not least because of the money to be made from blockade running.

The major hurdle to peaceful relations, of course, was when Bermuda was the launching pad for the British fleet’s War of 1812 attack on Washington, which resulted in the torching of much of the young capital, which Premier Scott visited in its rebuilt state. Perhaps that 230 years of friendship can at best be described as 230 years of “friendly fire” which of course the Americans know all about — as anyone who fights on their side becomes all too painfully aware.Still on matters military, Hector is constantly irritated by the strange elevation in the rank of former RegimentCommanding Officer David Burch.

Now it is common knowledge the Senator rose to the rank of Lieutenant Colonel and has kept the title prefix, as he is permitted to. But seems some people are referring to the Works and Engineering and Housing Minister simply as Colonel.

This phantom promotion appears to have stuck firmly with the Bermuda Sun, which consistently referred to him as Colonel in its mid-week edition.

Now Hector isn’t aware of how Brigadier Burch came by such promotion since his return to “civvie street” but wonders if it is a military-style psycho-ops. What is interesting is that Major Gen. Burch is not orchestrating his upward movement in the ranking hierarchy as he clearly uses his genuine rank designation on all documents. Hector doesn’t believe Lt. Gen. Burch need to be “big upped” in any way. Not that Hector wishes to get into a row with the fiery Field Marshall, who now seemingly has been given a licence by the Human Rights Commission to dish out abuse at will. Things didn’t go smoothly for the current CO at the Regiment’s Five Mile Road Race on Sunday. Lt. Col. Eddie Lamb was the man charged with starting the race, as you might expect of the Regiment’s top gun. However, take your marks, get set, was followed by a hollow click and then several more clicks. Scores of confused runners surged backwards and forwards until he finally managed to fire the gun.

Perhaps the Lt. Colonel needs to be frog marched by a burly Regimental Sergeant Major down to the firing ranges behind Warwick Long Bay for some much needed practice.The Signals section of the Regiment is obviously suffering too. The race results, which are normally published on the sports page of Monday’s Royal Gazette, had still not appeared as of Tuesday.

However, Hector is pleased to say that the catering corps still have their ‘A game’ as the traditional post race codfish breakfast provided by the regimental chefs was gratefully devoured by all and declared as tasty as ever.Hector’s attempts to watch the FA Cup Final on CableVision last weekend proved trickier than stopping a 30-yard Steven Gerrard<$> piledriver. The big match was listed on one of the company’s pay-per-view channels from 11 a.m. on Saturday. But when Hector tried to buy a slice of the action for the princely sum of $10 his efforts were quickly flagged offside, then shown the red card. Because when he tried to purchase 90-minutes of what would prove to be one of the finest Cup Finals in living memory, he was faced with the prospect of Stag Exposed — a show the on-screen programme guide helpfully described as rowdy bachelor parties captured on film.

Mind, Hector was secretly pleased as it gave him vital ammunition against Mrs. Hector about what can happen when you don’t let him go to the pub to watch the game.