Hector believes a shorter work week for Government workers might not be such a bad idea — especially for the addled telephone staff at the Hamilton Ferry Terminal. Due to Bermuda’s recent fleet of frail ferries, operators were getting a sea-swell of calls from frustrated commuters enquiring about schedules that changed as often as Wayne Furbert told us about his “good friends”. Just last week Hector called to see if the 11.55 a.m. ferry was operating from Rockaway. “So far it is,” he was bluntly told. When he then asked if the 5 p.m. Hamilton to Rockaway route would be in service later in the day, the woman said: “Look, let’s just deal with the 11.55 for now, OK?” Seemingly one couple missed the memo that the Oscar nominated movie “Brokeback Mountain” depicts a gay love affair between two cowboys. During Saturday’s screening of the movie a surprised viewer exclaimed: “They’re making out!” before turning to his female companion and announcing “We’re getting out of here!” The couple left the movie in apparent disgust over the homosexual content amid general laughter from the rest of the audience clearly aware of the massive hype surrounding the movie, which even Japanese soldiers marooned on Pacific islands and still fighting the second world war would have been aware of. One more clued-up cinema-goer whispered to her friend: “How could they not have know? It’s called the gay cowboy movie for a reason.”It pays to be fully aware of your surroundings and who is within earshot when you start to let rip about a pet hate, especially in a place as small as Bermuda. But that golden rule slipped the mind of Dr. Melvin Dickinson<$> as he addressed an audience in Pembroke recently. The Director of the National Office for Seniors and the Physically Challenged had something to beef about and he was going to say his piece.

Radio talk shows were one of life’s banes, he complained. “On those talk shows all you get is people bash, bash, bashing and then they do some more.”

Warming to his subject, the good doctor went on: “I can’t handle any of those radio talk shows...” But before he could completely get into the swing of things a fellow speaker on the stage sitting two feet away interjected.

“Except for the show on Sunday night,” corrected Sen. Lt. Col. David Burch,

host of the notoriously vitriolic Bermuda Speaks Hott 10.7.5 FM show.

“Yes, except that one,” said the doctor, before quickly changing the subject.Is it just Hector, or was there more to be read into the body language of the Premier and the Deputy Premier at the opening of the new bus terminal?

Number two Dr. Ewart Brown was never to be seen in the same photo-frame as number one Alex Scott<$>. Seating arrangements kept the two apart and even afterwards as the photo opportunities were being stage-managed, Dr. Brown kept his distance. Was it simply because he didn’t think the inside of a bus terminal was ‘glam’ enough a location for him to be pictured, or is he trying to distance himself from the boss? Meanwhile someone in the UBP HQ clearly is having trouble coming to terms with the recent ousting of Grant Gibbons as leader because the party’s official website still features the deposed doctor as top man.Valentine’s Day has always put enormous pressure on the average male. Remembering it for one thing, remembering to book a restaurant, remembering not to eye up the waitress and get hammered before your date has even finished the starters. It seems it is getting all too much with February 14 now designated National Impotence Day in the mother country. Hector of course wouldn’t want you to think he suffers from this problem although the spammers don’t seem to believe him judging from the welter of junk email reaching Hector’s computer urging him to increase the size and quality of his libido. Has Mrs. Hector been in touch? Look, I was feeling tired and it was the first time it had happened, all right?Bermuda resident and Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi is one man who won’t have worry about his sexual performance for the next few months. The 69-year-old multi-billionaire promised a party rally that he would not to have sex until after the general election on April 9. Hector thinks a similar policy has been adopted here by some politicians who wait until they have been voted back in before screwing the electorate. Or perhaps, after Renee’s revelations about all the dirty chat in the House, they have that other common trait among MPs — being all talk and no action.