You will decide whether I share my thoughts with "Just Waiting'' (R.G. Sept.

27) as she requested I have had the experience of being slandered and maligned anonymously in your sister paper and not having my response published -- very frustrating! Let me begin by thanking Stuart Hayward for his decision to make public the pain inflicted on his family as a result of racism. Most Blacks are either too intimidated or too proud to make their pain public. In the past I have had to limit the specifies of racism to my own experience which both Blacks and Whites have dismissed because of both the personal nature and the repetition.

But the experience of Lancelot Hayward underscores the evil and destructiveness of racism in a very specific manner, regardless of the generalities which all Blacks can recite.

In response to "Just Waiting'' I believe, unabashedly, irrespective of her adulation of Sir Henry Tucker, every black person in this island should have spent, and should still spend ALL of their political energy in a fight against the evil of racism and its long term destructive impact on the black Community. They should all be trying to figure out ways to repair the psychological damage and ways to close the economic disparity. Regardless of what Sir Henry may, or may not, have done, it was clearly insufficient since, as Sir John Plowman recently noted, there has been little genuine integration among children and we all know about the nine to five integration. No one needs to tell us about the continuing and growing economic disparity between the two Communities. In any event whatever Sir Henry did, it has nothing to do with the responsibility of every black person to fight this evil. We all know that the UBP was formed by white MCPs who professed not to believe in Party Politics but who came together to ensure the racial control of power when six members were elected under a P.L.P. banner. Racism has always been about the right of white supremacy both politically and economically, and psychological propaganda has ensured its continuation. So while black UBPers had the right to make any choice they wished since it is their life, yes I do believe they were wrong, irrespective of whether they joined the PLP or not. I do not see how questions about the PLP has anything to do with my statement.

Our limited progress in this area is seen in the fact that not one high profile white person has ever been prepared to acknowledge the benefits which have accrued to the white Community is a direct result of the economic exclusion and exploitation of the black Community through slavery and segregation. On the contrary, their only response has been to charge anyone who speaks publicly of their experience of "hatred'' and "bitterness''.

Most of the other issues raised by "Just Waiting'' I consider very trivial by comparison and have given them little thought, with the exception of taxation and rent control concerning which you have already published two letters from me. I believe that the PLP was dead wrong to continue the UBP policy of land taxation rather than income taxation. I believe that they were dead wrong to follow the UBP initiative regarding rent control which affects the income of the older generation of blacks without even considering taxation of the dividends and professional fees of the younger generation of Blacks who have a much higher income than the older generation, (many of whom supported the UBP) who could not even conceive of the income of some of them. For me to worry about the size of someone's car in view of some of the economic and social conditions of too many black people would be obscene.

DR. EVA N. HODGSON Crawl Think of the future September 23, 2000 Dear Sir, In response to the article "When the time comes to pay, everybody looks at momma''.

I am sick and tired of hearing from people who insist on having handouts because they have made poor decisions in life and have six kids who they cannot feed and those kids are having kids that they can't feed either. I have a concept for you, it's called family planning. Plan for your families, plan for your future and theirs. Birth control is free at the Government clinic, use it.

Kids cost money. I thought you would have figured that out after the first one, but nope, six kids later, and two grandkids later it's apparently still not clear. Please for the sake of the children, use your head, plan for your families. It will give you and them a better quality of life.

A FAMILY PLANNER Warwick A fond farewell September 24, 2000 Dear Sir, I am sure everyone was as shocked as I was at the tragic accident that ended MJ Tumbridge's Olympic hopes.

If anything, this surely draws attention to the need to reduce the danger factor in these Equestrian cross country events. A few people dead, plus countless injured and the horse put down is simply not acceptable in any sport.

I am of the opinion that the skill and stamina factors can be retained while reducing the danger and Equestrian themselves should demand this.

I believe the tops of the fences could be of a material that would reduce the impact on the fragile legs of the horses.

Looking at a horse and rider jumping over a hedge into an unseen water hazard is quite frightening.

The grand national was always a nightmare.

MJ had an extra meaning for me as I was her first employer in Bermuda Hotel Supplies Furniture Store on Spurling Hill (appropriately in a building called `The Stables') when she left school.

Ironically I too was selected to compete in the 1960 Olympic Games in Rome as a weightlifter representing Ireland as I had competed in the 1958 Empire Games but was by then in Bermuda where I learned there were no training facilities so I lost my chance and little did I know that MJ would not only go on to compete in the Olympics but would win the Gold in Pan Am Games, beating the man who may win the Olympic Gold; quite an achievement.

I know how hard it is to train for my events but it was nowhere near as tough as MJs event.

Not many people fully understand just how demanding it is to compete in these Equestrian events over so many day of competition.

It took MJ 20 years of sacrifice, hard work and total dedication in relatively unheralded attention, to win the gold.

To go and live in another country, but no friends, to work and train, requires a very exceptional person.

I do not believe people understood this.

I truly regret she had so little assistance and moral support and that her gold medal was unable to secure a generous supporter.

If anyone ever deserved it she did.

I recall getting annoyed at her for spending more attention to the horse than her work, saying "Horses are not too intelligent and can be dangerous. She replied "I know, but they are lovely and they need us''.

How do you reply to that? I know the depth of sorrow at the loss of her special friend.

BILL COOK Paget The devil makes work September 27, 2000 Dear Sir, I'll tell you what the devil does on his day off. He writes drug laws. During the week he has the hard work of evil; convincing Palestinians they have a hope of peace with the Israelis or convincing Bermudians that less representation is actually more. Drugs laws are easy to write and do all the damage on their own; with the help of well meaning mortals of course.

And what damage they do; Bermudians in reverse-banishment unable to leave these 20 square miles, dads and moms in jail, ordinary citizens criminalised, criminals made fabulously rich, a sophisticated international network of crime fuelled by untaxed cash, soaring crime rates, a record number of citizens incarcerated and the list goes on and for what? We have had these laws for a number of years. In Bermuda, these laws come with Police privileges in charging that infringe on normal personal rights. The investigation of murder, by the way, does not carry these privileges. Have these laws worked? No. they have not.

It is difficult to understand how a person who wants drugs will avoid getting them. The laws do not seem to stop them. These laws are as effective as alcohol prohibition was for alcoholics.

The Dutch do not have the stringent laws that we and the Americans have. What is their drug problem like? Well, about the same as any other developed country, except they are not paying in lives and tax dollars what we are. They have a lot more money to deal with the problem of drug addiction...which was by the way, the reason why we had those laws in the first place. Yet year in and year out, we carry on the war against drugs. We deny that the laws are impotent. We insist the human cost is worth the effort. You can see why the devil is amused.

JOHN ZUILL Pembroke Is anybody listening? September 24, 2000 Dear Sir, I find it hard to believe that the leaders of this Country allow this ear shattering, over amplified noise which some choose to call music and singing, to go on, in and around the City if Hamilton. It's bad enough that one has to endure this noise which travels well over a half mile, but to be forced to listen to it until 3 o'clock in the morning as was the case last Saturday is absolutely ridiculous. If these concerts (if that is the right word) have to take place, they should be done either at Dockyard or Clearwater Beach, or even better, Paget Island, during a hurricane! There was a time when you called the Police about loud noises after midnight you got an immediate response, now nobody seems to care. It would be interesting to know how many people did call the police that night, probably not many because it seems to me that we are becoming a very passive community who are more inclined to hide behind closed doors and not to say "boo'' to anybody.

SEEING IT AS IT IS Pembroke