Don't blame the victim

August 19, 2008

Dear Sir,

I read the letter 'Parenting, parenting' by Diana Williams in today's Royal Gazette with my jaw hanging open. I don't believe that I had ever read such total hogwash! I find it so sad that once again people choose to blame the victim instead of laying the blame where it belongs-with the perpetrator.

Kellon Hill may have been wearing a gold chain at 18, but so what? That was his right. There are a lot of things that we have as a society that provokes jealousy and envy in others, but that doesn't entitle someone to take it from us. In yesterday's RG, I read that a BMW automobile was stolen from outside of someone's home. Is that to say that person shouldn't have an expensive car because somebody might steal it? My neighbours built a lavish home that is far better than mine. Should I wait until they go away on one of their exotic vacations and burn their beautiful house down? Of course not!

Don't forget that Kellon was the victim here. At 18 years old he was considered an adult, so it was within his right to wear a million gold chains if he so chose. In fact, I was entertained at the home of an Indian family recently. Their daughter had more gold jewelry at the tender age of four than I'll probably have in a lifetime. In some cultures it is perfectly normal to give gifts of jewelry from birth, so I fail to see the big deal in a young adult having it.

As the parent of one of the young people at the party, let me elaborate on Ms. William's comments that the girls should have been in bed. It is not unusual for teens to have parties later in the night during the summer months. I know the mother of the girl hosting the party very well, and felt totally at ease with my child attending the function.

The mother of this girl went to great lengths to ensure that the teens invited to the party were kept in line. She has hosted many other constructive events for her daughter in the past with no problems. This girl is her only child, and she wanted her to have a nice send-off before she left for boarding school.

I personally dropped my child off and picked her up afterwards, as I do anytime my child is an invited guest somewhere. I don't allow my child to roam all over the place; in fact she feels that I'm way too overprotective. As her mother, I feel that it is my right to protect her as much as possible until she is old enough to fend for herself. However, I know that in order for her to be able to function independently in society, I cannot smother her either.

I don't see anything wrong with allowing her to mingle with her peers in a controlled environment. I can understand Mrs. Williams point if this had happened in a nightclub, but this was a beach party for crying out loud! I take issue with Mrs. William's comments on our parenting skills or lack thereof, when she clearly doesn't have all of the facts.

I don't disagree that we need to get to grips with the violence or our beautiful island home will indeed be lost.

However, don't blame the victim or the parents of kids that did nothing but allow them to be with their friend before she left for school. If we all go into hiding, afraid to go anywhere and allow ourselves to be held hostage by a select few, than we are all doomed.

TAKE A STAND

Pembroke

Sad and senseless

August 15, 2008

Dear Sir,

My deepest sympathy to the family of Kellon Hill. My heart feels for them for the unnecessary and senseless death of their loved one. I cannot imagine losing a child to an illness, but to lose a child to violence is incomprehensible. Bermuda is weeping over this latest tragedy!

I did not read "Donna of Pembroke's" letter so I cannot comment on it, but having just finished reading Minister Dale Butler's letter dated August 14, 2008, I wholeheartedly agree with him.

Unfortunately, there are too many parents who have no idea what it entails in preparing children for adulthood. And, unfortunately, these parents were probably raised the same way. As Minister Butler stated, there are many parents who are doing the right thing by teaching respect; responsibility; set standards; rules and have discipline.

Government is not responsible for raising children. Government is responsible for seeing that all of the necessary academic tools etc. are available after you have raised that child to prepare him or her to be a productive member of society. Too many children are falling through the cracks because of bad or no parenting.

Bermuda is in big trouble. It seems to be falling apart at the seams. Some parents have their priorities in wrong places and the children are left to do as they please. When you become a parent, you start training that child the day you bring it home from the hospital. In dog packs they have the Alpha dog. He is the leader and he sets the rules. We are no different as humans when it comes to raising our young. We have to become "The Alpha" and there we have to remain until our offspring is ready to leave the pack. If children do not have leadership in the home, they will find it elsewhere, consequently gangs are formed.

Mr. Editor, what do we wake up to? We wake up to young black men etc. who are murdering other young black men and so I ask: "What does that tell us?" Has something backfired here? This is all so sad and senseless!

PAT FERGUSON

Warwick

Changing attitudes

August 14, 2008

Dear Sir,

Since leaving my Island home where I vacationed last May, I am saddened to read of a killing on the Island. This is not the Bermuda I knew. Then, of course, nothing is.

Let me tell of a supposedly minor thing I witnessed while my cousins were taking me sightseeing. As we approached the old Berkeley, my cousin stopped for a stop sign, I guess it was, and some young girls crossed the street in front of the car. One took her time, walking very, very slowly. I asked my cousin if she were handicapped. "No," she replied. "She's just being rude."

I could hardly believe that such a young person would do this. And more wonder, my cousin did not even blow her horn. I said this young person should not try this in any city in the US should she have a chance to visit because she would probably have a car horn blown repeatedly at her, or worse, she could be run over.

What is the cause of such an attitude? Will someone please enlighten me.

YVONNE WILLIE

Birmingham, Alabama

Certain obligations

August 18, 2008

Dear Sir,

I believe the ever-increasing war of words between the BBC and Cablevision regarding the Olympics' coverage actually started some time ago when CableVision announced they would begin charging for the rebroadcasting of local channels, or, more accurately, if local broadcasters demanded compensation from CableVision for rebroadcasting their signal any related fees would in turn be passed along to the consumer, i.e. cable subscribers.

BBC's rationale seems counter-intuitive to me. Local media broadcasters are issued a licence from the Government and assigned a frequency to transmit their signals over public airwaves, free to all. In return they presumably have certain obligations to meet community standards and agree to be regulated by the appropriate licensing board(s).

Unlike CITV, BBC is in the business of making money. If my limited understanding of their business plan is correct, the BBC's main sources of revenue are advertising dollars. Advertisers chose to allocate their ad buys to those outlets which they feel give them the best "bang for the buck" and reach their widest target demographic(s). CableVision therefore, is actually giving the BBC an opportunity (at no charge) to expand their audience, thereby permitting them to charge a higher rate for ad sales as a result.

To even consider the possibility that subscribers should in turn pay for the convenience to receive free to air signals is laughable, especially when taking into consideration the abysmal quality of the Olympics' coverage. If the BBC is unable to operate under present conditions and make a reasonable profit then they should close their doors.

I, for one, will not pay to receive a sub-standard definition signal from an antiquated and outdated provider who has been granted a licence to transmit over Bermuda's public airwaves. If the BBC attempts to seek compensation I trust that Cablevision has lined up alternative HDTV broadcasters for the major networks (ABC, CBS & NBC) for which I will happily pay a (modest) premium (recognising these stations were not originally intended to be broadcast in Bermuda) to receive a vastly superior picture and improved overall production quality.

KEG

City of Hamilton

Time to choose

August 19, 2008

Dear Sir,

Much has been written, by many, over the last few days about Bermuda's youth and the violence we are experiencing. Furthermore, most of what has been written has made sense. In the days ahead, we need to avoid the old saying – talk can be cheap. Somehow, we have to turn the talk into action. Whilst Government will have a role in this, it is "our" responsibility as a society, not theirs, to make this happen.

Whilst we can hold the young accountable for their actions as we should do, in the final analysis, "we" (Bermuda Co. Ltd.) also have to ask one question: "Do we want to live in this kind of society, or not"?

We all know that life is about choices, and it is time to make a choice.

Irrespective of one's background, one's beliefs and one's prejudices, we must accept that there are a number of core values that we must have in our society. Values that are nothing to do with race or colour or religion – just simple basic values that generally and historically have provided us with a safer society than we have today. A society in which no person is afraid to walk a street because it is dark, or is afraid to wear a chain around their neck.

Psychologists have written that the number one fear in life is rejection and that the number one need in life is acceptance. Whilst I don't know what either we as a society has done, or that the young themselves have done to feel rejected, I do know we need to make them feel accepted and that we must do what it takes to make that happen. The youth have to be part of mainstream society.

If you are wondering whether you have a contribution to give to this issue, wondering whether it would make a difference in any event – just ask the question again ..."Do you want to live in this kind of society"?

If you answer "yes", then although the rest of society will still wish you well, I don't think anyone will envy you in the years ahead. If you answer "no" then whatever you can bring to this debate, whatever actions you can take to bring just one young person back into the fold, you should take those actions and do so now. All of us, the young included, remain accountable for your actions.

We owe it to ourselves and our future children and, right now, we owe it to our young people in particular.

SMITH'S

Legal system racism

August 19, 2008

Dear Sir,

If the anonymous lawyer and Mr. Julian Hall believe that the Island's legal system is riddled with racism, then I would be interested in hearing their comments about a process which involved the following:

• A black individual is interviewed by a panel of four (3 whites, 1 black).

l A complaint is made of discrimination against a white head of department.

l A mediator is required and a selection is made from a choice of two whites.

l Failing this, a three member tribunal is set up (2 whites, 1 black)

l The chairman of the tribunal is white.

l A black lawyer of a law firm is asked to handle the matter on behalf of the complainant; however, the case is passed to a white member of the same law firm.

• This law firm is dismissed.

l The matter is then handled by another white lawyer of a different law firm.

• The white lawyer fails to present important facts to the white judge as instructed by the client.

l The judge dismisses the case.

Did this black man stand a chance of having a fair hearing? You see when something is designed to fail, it will.

If lawyer Rod Attride-Stirling accepts that "Bermuda has a history replete with examples of racism and discrimination, and no area of Bermuda life was immune from this, including, regretfully, the legal profession," then what is being done to counteract it in the legal profession?

Unlike some lawyers, ordinary citizens don't make millions and we pay far too much money for legal advice as it is. So are we getting value for money when we seek legal advice?

MRS. POOR BERMUDA

Devonshire

Good bus drivers

August 19, 2008

Dear Sir,

I want to take the time to celebrate our Bus Operators. Today while riding Bus number three from Grotto Bay a very caring driver, Mr. A.G. Darrell took the time to ensure that children were safe. When Mr. Darrell realised that two unaccompanied young children had disembarked the bus and were attempting to cross the street, he secured the bus and personally walked them across the street.

Similarly, last week, I heard another bus operator giving children instructions on crossing the road.

Kudos to Mr. Darrell and other bus operators for looking out for our youths. He truly is an ambassador. The next time that you ride the bus, thank the operator for getting you to your destination safely.

JUDITH MORGAN-SWAN

Smith's