“Life isn’t like it used to be.” Is that a statement of nostalgia, or regret, or merely stating the obvious like one of today’s way-over-used expressions, “It is what it is”?One thing for sure today, ageing isn’t like it used to be! Fifty is the new 30 but with more experience!In 1973, my mother turned 50, bought a sporty new car, and told the family it would be “her last car”. Nothing morbid; she was just anticipating she wouldn’t need her own car after a few years. Now she’s in her late 80s and, by my calculations, she has just bought her eighth car since that declaration 30-some years ago! Yes, absolutely, life isn’t like it used to be!Boomers (and younger) are setting new priorities for what they want to have (and be) in the second half of their life. Quality work and home-life issues account for about 90 percent of those who come in for coaching conversations.“Coaching” isn’t like it used to be either. Historically, we have had coaches for all kinds of enhancement like sports, voice, music, dance all related to becoming better than we already were.As recently as the mid-1990s, we began to hear about life and executive coaches. Over the past few years, the art and science of ‘personal’ coaching has now become much more mainstream for those who identify actions or practices that might be addressed to attain better or different results.Psychotherapy, counselling, consulting and mentoring will continue to be useful as in the past and yet Boomers (as well as those born after 1964) seem to be putting it all out there for writing the next chapters of their epic.Mid-life crisis is now passé and is being replaced by strategic planning for what lies ahead from a reactive to a proactive approach. People want meaningful days (and nights) as well as joyful interpersonal relationships. Evolution from a human doing to a human being is catching on and beginning to resonate. Those who want more and are willing to seek new possibilities for themselves are finding that a Coaching Relationship clarifies and facilitates that journey.We all know people who now share their gratitude for pain and suffering they have experienced earlier in life. The gratitude is not directed toward the pain; it derives from becoming whole once again or, at least, more complete through the healing or recovery process. Treatment, therapy and recovery are absolutely essential to ‘help’ an individual back to the norm and back to their functionality. Coaching partnerships, on the other hand, provide well-functioning individuals or couples with a professional relationship to identify (or explore) elements for greater well-being. One’s personal (or interpersonal) life and work circumstances don’t have to be bad in order for the situation to become significantly better.Let’s face it: we don’t have to be in deep psychological distress before we say to ourselves, “This pattern needs attention!”We have those silent conversations with ourselves that might sound something like this: “Why do I keep on doing X when I really don’t want to?” or “I can’t believe I still haven’t done X when I promised myself I would do so several months ago?”We most probably have both the capability and the will to alter unwanted practices or take certain actions that would be in our better interest.Perhaps the anxiety goes up when we move beyond age 50 after all, time is getting shorter and that magical number can put more pressure on ourselves (or those closest to us).If you were a golfer and your backswing wasn’t as effective as it could be, find an effective golf pro to coach with you. You don’t know what you don’t know; however, a coach (golf pro) can partner with you for you to improve your game. Maybe your putting needs some work as well! You are the only one who can improve your game it might be golf or it could be your mood at work or at home that is causing you to be less effective than your potential capability! The coaching relationship becomes a vehicle for you to move from where you are to where you want to be.Youngsters of all ages (and not just those over 50) can put a new twist on any old game and, while we’re at it, let’s stop saying, “It is what it is” and start thinking, “It’s Not Over Til It’s Over”. Might a shift like that create a new perspective for you!n For more information on the Coaching Relationship, contact Vaughn Mosher at Benedict Associates on 295-2070.