I am very much aware that the majority of the individuals who will read this article are not necessarily the ones who could benefit the most from its content. I am confident, though, that you know of such a person. As such, I have one request of you. In your own way, please share with that son, brother, husband, boyfriend, or friend what I am about to share with you. Thank you.Years ago I attended a pre-school graduation in my hometown in Jamaica. As is typical, the graduates were asked to share what they would like to be when they grow up. They started off by naming a number of popular professions that would make any parent hopeful and rush to open an education account for college funding. Some wanted to be lawyers, astronauts, pilots, doctors, nurses, police officers, firefighters, teachers, etc.There was nothing unusual in the kids' responses. Nothing surprising, until a little boy proudly declared, “When I grow up I want to be a father.”There was much laughter and chatter about this little boy's intended “profession”. Think about it. Who actually declares when they are five years old, that they want to be a father?For some of us, fatherhood just happened. It may have gone something like this we got a little excited one morning two months ago and then returned home from work one day to find our wives either crying or, hopefully, jumping around excitedly holding a pregnancy test kit displaying a little red plus sign.The only words we manage to find are, “Are you sure?”We then convince our wives to get a second, sometimes a third test. When we have finally been convinced, our minds are dominated with thoughts and questions such as: will he look like me (many men automatically believe they will have a son), I wonder if he'll like playing football, am I ready to be a father, I need a better paying job, and I vow to do a better job than my father did.Although fatherhood may sneak upon some of us, it is a role most men have aspirations to fulfill, and one that some men have been very successful at doing. I doubt any successful father arrived at that point without addressing the key question, “What kind of legacy do I want to leave for my children?”I have six siblings. Collectively, we each have four stepmothers. Unsurprisingly, none of us can claim we truly know our father. I met him for the first time when I was 21 years old. He obviously proved himself to be very negligent. Unfortunately, his actions resulted in him having no form of relationship, or influence, with his children.My situation is not unique. The share of fathers who are residing with their children has fallen significantly in the past half century.For example, in 1960, only 11 percent of children in the US lived apart from their fathers. By 2010, that share had risen to 27 percent. The National Survey of Family Growth (NSFG) found that 1-in-4 fathers in the US with children 18 or younger now live apart from their children, with 16 percent living apart from all their children.The reality is that many children here in Bermuda are being similarly let down. There are some men who have neglected their highest calling on earth their family for more “freedom”, career advancement, unrestricted “entertainment”, higher education and to start another family. This should not be.When we accept the challenge of being committed and responsible fathers, we do all in our power to treasure every moment with our children. We will come to the realisation that they represent the greatest opportunity for us to change the world. They are our greatest work, entertainment, school, church and play.We must decide to never miss out on opportunities to bond with them, by spending quality time doing what they want to do. This may result in us taking them to ballet, children's choir rehearsal, and to the playground, which may involve spending the time filling bottles with sand and dirt with our bare hands.Most men I know are willing to commit to things that are worthwhile. I guarantee you that there is hardly anything else in this world more worthwhile than fatherhood. I have never heard of any man, who, on his deathbed, shared his regret about committing fully to fatherhood.Have you ever heard any man declare, “I spent too much time and effort with this fatherhood thing? If I hadn't, Johnny would be a better man today and Lisa would find a husband less loving and respectful towards her.”?I never have, and doubt I ever will.In addressing the question, what kind of legacy do I want to leave behind for my children, it is important to define this legacy. A father's legacy is not a million dollar life insurance policy or investment account. It is not a family-owned business we start and build up with the sweat of our brow.In fact, a father's legacy is intangible, yet invaluable. It is what our children will say about us long after we are gone. It is the man or woman they will become, as a result of our influence on their life. It is what they will tell their children and grandchildren about us, and the type of man and father we were. It is also what they will teach their own children. In other words, a father's legacy is evident by the life our children lead.Leaving a meaningful legacy for our children means being willing to get our hands dirty, sometimes literally. It means acknowledging our influence and being willing to step up to ensure we consistently touch the lives of our children in ways that will lead to positive outcomes. It means deciding to commit to fatherhood and all the responsibilities that come with it, for as long as we have breath.In order for us to leave such a legacy behind for our children, we must become lifetime-committed fathers. Lifetime-committed fathers are unafraid and will give fathering their best effort. They will spend more than six minutes a day in meaningful conversations with their children, despite the million of other things vying for their attention.They will speak words of love, kindness and encouragement to their children, even though they feel like smacking them upside the head, or worse, walking away, sometimes permanently.They will model and teach good moral standards, especially because they are on the decline and have gotten quite unpopular in our society. They will teach their sons to also be lifetime-committed fathers, their daughters to be strong and supportive mothers.In the end, these men will leave a legacy worth much more than silver or gold or oil for their children and this world.Here is a snapshot of the legacy a committed and involved father leaves behind for his children:· Adolescents who strongly identified with their fathers were 80 percent less likely to have been in jail and 75 percent less likely to become unwed parents. Living in any type of married household also reduces the risk of early sexual activity and pregnancy.· Father involvement was not only negatively associated with bullying behaviour, but that it provided a buffering effect for children in that it protected them from extreme victimization. Other researchers found that a father's greater involvement in his “difficult to raise preschooler's life” was related to the child having fewer reported behaviour problems as a grade schooler.· Infants of highly involved fathers, as measured by amount of interaction, including higher levels of play and caregiving activities, are more cognitively competent at six months. By one year they continue to have higher cognitive functioning, are better problem solvers as toddlers and have higher IQ's by age three.· When compared with mothers, a father's talk with toddlers is characterised by more wh- (eg “what”, where” etc) questions, which requires children to assume more communicative responsibility in the interaction. This encouraged toddlers to talk more, use more diverse vocabulary, and produce longer utterances when interacting with their fathers· School aged children of involved fathers are also better academic achievers. They are more likely to get As, have better quantitative and verbal, have higher grade point averages, get better achievement test scores, receive superior grades, perform a year above their expected age level on academic tests, obtain higher scores on reading achievement, or learn more and perform better in school.· A father's academic support was positively related to adolescent boys' academic motivation to try hard in school, feel their grades were important and to place a high value on education.· Children of involved fathers are less likely to fail a grade, have poor attendance, be suspended or expelled, or have behaviour problems at school. In addition, it was discovered that positive paternal engagement in 10th grade predicted fewer problem behaviours in 11th grade.· Infants whose fathers are involved in their care are more likely to be securely attached to them, be better able to handle strange situations, be more resilient in the face of stressful situations, be more curious and eager to explore the environment, relate more maturely to strangers, react more competently to complex and novel stimuli, and be more trusting in branching out in their explorations.· Father warmth and nurturance significantly predicts children's moral maturity, is associated with more positive moral behaviour in boys and girls, and is positively correlated with higher scores on measures of internal moral judgment, moral values and conformity to rules.· In addition, children who felt close to their involved fathers are also more likely to have long term, successful marriages, be satisfied with their romantic partners in midlife, have more successful intimate relationships and be less likely to divorce.· Adolescents who are securely attached to their fathers report less conflict in their interactions with peers.· Father involvement protects children from engaging in delinquent behaviour, and is associated with less substance abuse among adolescents, less delinquency, less drug use, truancy, and stealing, and less drinking.· Children of involved fathers are more likely to demonstrate a greater tolerance for stress and frustration, have superior problem solving and adaptive skills, be more playful, resourceful, skilful, and attentive when presented with a problem, and are better able to manage their emotions and impulses in an appropriate manner.· Young adults who had nurturing and available fathers while growing up are more likely to score high on measures of self acceptance and personal and social adjustment, see themselves as dependable, trusting, practical, and friendly, be more likely to succeed in their work, and be mentally healthy. The variable that is most consistently associated with positive life outcomes for children is the quality of the father-child relationship.***Children are obviously better off when their relationship with their father is secure, supportive, reciprocal, sensitive, close, nurturing and warm. Overall, a father's love appears to be as heavily implicated as a mother's love in children's development.No one else can do the job we have been called to do as fathers. I know of no man that would use a microwave to grill a steak, or a thread to catch a fish. It is both unfair and impractical to leave mothers, teachers, grandparents, churches and societies to father our children. That responsibility is ours and ours alone, and no one can truly take it away from us. We might as well give it the best we have.I would be one of the first to acknowledge that successful fathering is not the easiest thing to do, though it was easy enough to enter that role, usually requiring little effort on our part. Within the past few years, researchers found that among all adults, 57 percent say it is more difficult to be a father today than it was 20 or 30 years ago. Only 9 percent say being a father is easier today, and 32 percent say it's about the same. Among dads themselves, 63 percent say the job is harder now.The results of committing to leave a positive, first-class and sustaining legacy behind for our children requires hard work and takes time. In fact, it will take a lifetime. That is why it is necessary for us, as fathers, to be willing to sacrifice our own progress for the life of our children; to determine to be actively present in the lives of our children, even if the entire world is against us and tells us that we cannot; and to commit to being a father for the rest of our life.In today's world, the typical employee will change jobs a few times, some more than others. There are hardly any exceptions. Vincent Van Gogh, the impressionist painter, was a schoolmaster, student priest missionary and art dealer before he became a painter. It is not uncommon for someone who studied business in college to enter the workforce as a substitute teacher or construction worker, then move on to being a sales agent in a supermarket, work their way up to supervisor or manager, and then suddenly decide they want to become a lawyer.I believe that little boy graduating from pre-school was on to something. While not a profession, fatherhood is one role that can produce the highest pay-offs. I believe the best profession any young man can aspire to enter is fatherhood. If fathers-to-be were to start preparing themselves physically, emotionally, mentally, financially and spiritually for this role then the world or at least their world, might be a better place.The amazing thing is that, even if we started out as a sperm donor, then move up to a deadbeat dad, and then an absent father, we can still end up as a responsible father, who has made a commitment to leave behind the best legacy for his children. Let us rise to the challenge and do this!Pete Saunders enjoys being a father to his five-year-old son Dakari, “adopting” daughter Altina, and goddaughter Azariah. He is currently enrolled at Capella University, completing a master's degree in Marriage & Family Therapy/Counseling. His blog, razorsanddiapers.com is his effort to promote positive fatherhood in Bermuda and the rest of the world. Through video interviews, articles and events organised for fathers and their children, he aims to encourage, equip and transform males into better fathers, husbands, sons, brothers and mentors.Pete believes that through motivation and a sense of individual responsibility, men will commit themselves to accepting their roles and following through on a path to REAL manliness with a sense of pride and accomplishment.