THERE is a Chinese proverb that says, "Personal example carries more weight than preaching."Not that preaching doesn't work. But if you want to prove your point, live what you preach. And if you live what you preach, people will want to emulate you.

That certainly is the case with one Richmond, Virginia, reader who wrote to me recently, saying: "I am in my early 20s and many of my friends have started looking to me for financial advice because they know that I am very frugal and I was able to buy a house a few months ago. I truly want to help them because it seems so easy to start now at our age when we don't have families or other huge financial responsibility. How do you help friends and family that inevitably ask you for help?"

The question is so timely considering the many college graduates who are starting their first real-world jobs this summer. Yet I wonder how many are equipped to tackle the laundry list of decisions they'll have to make about their personal finances.

The fact is that many will begin their working lives making huge money mistakes. Perhaps the following advice will help change their financial course:

[bul] Forget how you were raised. One of the biggest mistakes young workers make is to try and duplicate right away the life they had at home with their middle- and upper-income parents. Since many can't recapture that lifestyle with their incomes, they do it with credit. Right after college, continue to live as you did as a broke student. In time, with the right money management, you'll be able to elevate your lifestyle.

[bul] Use direct deposit to save. Don't be hard-headed. Set up an automatic system to save at least 10 percent of your income every paycheque. Put the money in an account separate from the ones you may use for your regular expenses.

[bul] Whenever you get a bonus or raise, divert part or all of that money (the net, minus taxes) to that separate savings account. That's called living below your means.

[bul] Buy a used car. My first car out of college cost about $1,800, which I paid in cash. It was without question a "hoopty". (For the less hip, that's a car that before you start it up, you say a prayer.) Don't put much money into this depreciating asset. On average, a new vehicle retains only about 35 percent of its original value after five years, meaning that a car bought new today for $20,000 will be worth $7,000 after that five-year period.

[bul] Don't get a car loan that exceeds 48 months. If you can't handle the monthly payments with a four-year loan, you can't afford the vehicle. And once you finish paying for the car, don't incorporate that money back into your budget. Instead save it. Should you need another car in eight or 10 years, you would then have the money to pay cash for it.

[bul] Stop the madness before it starts. To eliminate the temptation to buy stuff you don't need with money you haven't earned, opt out of getting hit with credit card offers.

[bul] Don't put off retirement savings. A survey by the human-resources services company Hewitt Associates found that only 31 percent of employees aged 18 to 25 who are eligible for a 401(k) participate in their employer-sponsored plan. If you wait until you're older, you'll have to save more.

[bul] Don't be lazy. It's likely your company will automatically enrol you in its retirement plan. However, most automatically enrolled employees remain at the default contribution rate, which is typically three percent or less of their pay, according to Hewitt. Additionally, the employees are put into conservative funds, an election they usually keep. The further you are from retirement, the more risk you can take in the stock market. Don't let inertia crimp your savings rate over time.

[bul] If you're confused about how to invest for retirement, ask for guidance. It's likely you'll be able to turn to your employer for advice. A survey by Wells Fargo's employee benefits consulting group, BPS&M, found that 69 percent of the more than 450 employers it polled nation-wide are providing some form of hands-on investment advice or resources to employees.

If you want to start out on the right financial foot, follow the example of my Richmond reader who has learned that good money management comes down to what you value the most, "status or financial security".

Listen to Michelle Singletary discuss personal finance every Tuesday on NPR's "Day to Day." To hear her reports online go to www.npr.org. Readers can write to her c/o The Washington Post, 1150 15th St., N.W., Washington, D.C. 20071. Her e-mail address is singletary>@washpost.com. Comments and questions are welcome, but due to the volume of mail, personal responses may not be possible. Please also note comments or questions may be used in a future column, with the writer's name, unless a specific request to do otherwise is indicated.