August is a popular month for wedded bliss. Marriage: one little word, compelling, significant, dominant in human society. It has been called an institution, a sacred calling, a civil procedure, a legal union. It's also been referred to in many other terms, some of them unprintable in public domain. But what does it mean?

Is there a marriage advantage? Why do we embrace the concept? Is it programming by our culture and society as something we are all supposed to do? Is it worth it, should we even bother?

It all depends upon your perspective. According to www.nationmaster.com who have sourced various country government statistics, CIA Factbooks and so on, for the latest figures of 2001, 9.8 marriages are documented for every 1,000 people in the United States. These are first marriages, by the way.

Russia was in second place, but interestingly, the Scandinavian countries report half the number of marriages per thousand, along with Italy and Greece compared to the United States and Russia.

Divorces stayed as to expected rate of 50 percent of the 9.8 marriages, a statistic that has not changed in a number of years. When given the hype surrounding the wedding beautiful, the relationships, and the spending plan needed to accomplish the union, I fully expected this number to be higher than 20 people per thousand.

Formal or not, it appears that marriage originally evolved based on the need for survival of the species. In today's society, marriage increasingly seems irrelevant for this purpose, so completely projected in illuminating visionary detail by Aldous Huxley in Brave New World written in 1931 and published in 1932. Set in London of AD 2540 (632 A.F. in the book), the novel anticipates developments in reproductive technology and sleep-learning that combine to change society. The future society is an embodiment of the ideals that form the basis of futurism (source: Wikipedia, "Marriage as power").

History is replete with marital liaisons, some legal, some not, where daughters and sons of various kingdoms and fiefdoms (kings and quins, primps and primpcesses as my children described them) were married off in pure power consolidation plays. Their parents, in-laws, children-heirs-to-thrones (the once and future kings and quins), generals and armies reaped the benefit of the their combined real estate and liquid assets.

Anyone who is a history buff, particularly European and English history, can recite hundreds of incidents where these poor marriage candidates did not live happily ever after. Quite to the contrary, they were more often than not disposed of, once their usefulness as a womb repository or transferor of assets was completed. Marriage was anything but sacred.

Societal pressure is subtle in the marriage venue. While it is commonplace now to accept or reject the notion of marriage, there still remains an implicit message that those married are somehow better, more accomplished, and successful in life than those that are not.

Political figures will often use the image of the family to denote structure, stability, responsibility, and harmony - as if those qualities do not exist in those who are single or without without permanent family arrangements.

Religion and marriage has been intertwined and formalised for hundreds of years. In times of stress or great stability, religious values have been the saving grace and guiding light for millions of married individuals. More than one cynic has observed that using religion to develop marriage moral codes, helped greatly in reinforcing the same. Legal (or civil) marriages - were established to provide a definition of the tangible and intangible attributes (besides emotional and human) that were brought to the relationship.

In many countries, religious and legal marriages are separate and distinctly different structures. Great households and family fortunes are legally passed on in marriage according to patriarchal or matriarchal hierarchies. Finance and marriage - and these leads us all into the area of greatest comfort and greatest stress - financial management of a marriage.

In the context of financial affairs, of the two, one individual in the relationship may be considered a high grade investable asset. Marriages of on the surface appearance of equal finances may actually be quite the opposite with a lop-sided parity. These financial components may be fully agreed-upon, or vigorously fought over in a lifetime, but there is no question that marriage finance is used consciously (and sometimes unconsciously) to assert rights, domain, power, or in worst cases coercion over one party.

The sceptical may also view marriage as emotional herding comfort, convenient, and financially advantageous, but not worth the reciprocation of responsibilities that accompany the "I love you" viewpoint.

Why do people marry? Is it the initial act of maturity and trust to commit to a long-term relationship now come undone as described by one completely disillusioned (now-divorced) blogger as " as constant battle of compromise over every single decision in life", or by so many others, as the greatest event that they have ever experienced.

The sharing of physical and intellectual legacy, the completion of ones-self as a human being, and the absolute comfort of knowing that there is one person who cares for you.

The human side: That is what married people say to the world, but are marriages happy? We don't have statistics for such an emotional topic in Bermuda, so we look to the US - our nearest (and long-term relationship country neighbour).

Married folk are not doing too badly according FamilyLifeCultureWatch and Parade Magazine in 2008 which conducted a survey The Truth about American Marriage. The results stated that seven out of eight couples were happy, or reasonably happy in their marriages, an optimal number when compared to the astute observation by Kathleen Parker, "Blame it on the Constitution and the American ideal of the pursuit of happiness, but happiness can never be an expectation in any endeavour involving other human beings. Especially not in marriage, which is the toughest human arrangement ever conceived."

Should we keep marriage? According to another blogger on www.nationmaster.com marriage has been considered as one of the building pillars of society. If the rate of marriages decline, the social norm of people may decline as well. Do we agree with that statement?

In the next article, we will explore the following: Media and industry and the marketing of marriage into economic profits.

Two can live cheaper than one when it comes to hotel rooms, household budgets and savings, but not tax structures. Why do we continue to see subtle society preferences? You know, the invisible tacitness to exclude a once married person, now single from married people gatherings. How do you handle finances, especially in extended families?

It can be particularly cumbersome when multinationals / dual citizens marry. They have parallel tracks with tax, legal economic duties to more than one country, family, and legacies.

From we to me - the downside of marriage: Ending the relationship, and losing a spouse. Untangling the entanglement, disenchantment, economically disenfranchised legally complicated, emotionally compromising, like a death, but not quite loss of other self, just exactly what was it that you did contribute to this marriage?

It comes down to humiliating cold figures-based assessment of your personal assets / liabilities stated in dollars and cents.

Sources: Wikipedia, www.nationmaster.comhttp://www.familylifeculturewatch.com/2008/09/parade-worthy-m.html Happy Marriage, an Oxymoron, by Kathleen Parker, 1999 article Jewish World Review.

Martha Harris Myron, CPA, CFP(US) TEP(UK) JP- Bermuda is an international Certified Financial Planner™ practitioner in a multi-family office for private wealth management. She specializes in independent fee-only cross border investment, tax, estate, and strategic retirement planning services for Bermuda residents with cross-border and multi-national connections, internationally mobile people and US citizens living abroad. For more information, contact martha.myron@gmail.com">martha.myron@gmail.com or 296 3528 at Patterson Partners Ltd.