Spring is here, Valentine's Day is long gone and those planning June weddings are coming down to the wire.

Money matters. Statistically, we know that individuals spend more time buying a car or planning an outfit to wear to a party than they do planning for their financial future. Why is that?

Money represents so much to so many, independence and dependence, control and lack thereof, the revealing of the inner self if you will, to another in a relationship, which can be embarrassing, seen as almost self-serving.

Because who among us has not wanted, indeed, obsessed about the new shoes, the new car, the home, the suit, the fancy watch, the diamond earrings, the gold bracelets, especially when we see others acquiring them?

Not much has changed since Biblical times: 'Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's goods', but in those days, the discount stores in Orlando and the boutiques in Bermuda weren't around.

Most of the time, we make mature money choices. But it is so hard to communicate and discuss money with someone else, even the ones you love. Here are two stories.

She stepped gracefully out of the carriage, and taking her older brother's hand proceeded slowly up the church steps. The showers late last night had cleared off, the sun rising early this morning in perfect harmony with the sea, radiating reflections of pink and coral across the surface of the turquoise bay, the water shimmering, yet so still, almost as if Mother Nature was holding her breath.

She had always loved those quiet special mornings, listening to the peeper frogs' message fade as the new day dawned. It was starting perfectly, just the way she had always envisioned it, on this, their very special day.

The breeze picked up, flipping her veil, just brisk enough to chase off some of the humidity, the waves across the harbour danced and sparkled, emulating the reflections of rainbows in her sapphire and diamond engagement ring. "It's the same blue as your eyes", he said when he proposed. "I just had to get it for you, you are so special."

He is a wonderful person; she had been attracted to him immediately. Well, for all the obvious reasons, but also for his easy maturity, sense of humour, his determination to succeed and his genuine kindness to her family. It had not been an easy life; her parents had really struggled to keep home and work together.

In part because of all the scrimping and saving to achieve her own self-sufficiency, today she felt so proud of her accomplishments. She had been determined to manage the entire wedding herself, on a very modest budget, and she had. And best yet, it was all paid for. Just goes to show what you can do when you put your mind to it, she thought.

It was going to be a scorcher, but she would feel cool in the absolutely exquisite off-shoulder gown. She had had doubts that she could do that style justice, but after a battle weary day spent at Filene's basement annual wedding dress sale, this one was a cut above the rest.

She decided then and there, she would earn the right to wear it well. Many months of walking, then running, biking and weight lifting later, she felt reborn as a woman in love, a woman in control of her finances, a woman meeting her ultimate destiny.

Back to reality of regular living. Three weeks later, they are ensconced in their renovated apartment. Relegated to the household money manager role, she starts the monthly bill payment process.

She opens his last credit card bill, the balance due is $9,500. Incredibly, she thought she read it incorrectly.

"What is this," she cried?

"You told me everything was paid for!"

He replied, "It was for the ring, I had to get it. You looked so beautiful, you deserved it."

"Why didn't you tell me", she said? "I hate owing money, it's the story of my parents' life. I can't even think the same way about this ring now, it really wasn't a gift!'

He said: "Why are you getting so bent out of shape, everyone uses credit cards, what is your problem?"

And the first, but not the last, argument about money erupted. Indeed, money is an emotional issue, the first to cause distress in a relationship and the last to be discussed in a calm, forthright manner.

An interesting scenario, it couldn't really be true, could it? In fact, they are, all too true, composites of cases, changed to protect confidentiality, these life situations are all too familiar to a financial planner. Stay tuned in the next two weeks for part two and part three.

Martha Harris Myron CPA CFP is a Certified Financial Planner (tm) (US license) practitioner. She holds a NASD Series 7 license, is a former US tax practitioner, and is the winner 2001-The Bermudian Magazine - Best of Bermuda Gold Award for Investment Advice.

Confidential E-mail can be directed to marthamyron@northrock.bm

The article expresses the opinion of the author alone. Under no circumstances is this advice to be taken as recommendations to buy or sell investment products or as a promotion for financial plans. The Editor of The Royal Gazette has final right of approval over headlines, content, and length/brevity of article.