Before we get into the heavyweight elements of this subject, I have to point out to you that my views here do not reflect the views of The Royal Gazette or Bermuda Microsystems Group, and are purely based out of my personal experiences and knowledge.

Internet use for young people, then, is a fascinating subject. Much of the press would have you believe that there are predatory child-molesters around every corner, lurking in every chatroom, and on the end of every myspace address. Whilst it is very important to keep vigilant with security measures to protect against such things, it must be pointed out that the internet is a vastly valuable, incredibly interesting, rich tapestry of activity, information, and communication that can add so much to a young person's life, that to ignore it, or shrink away from it because of the risk of such frightening occurrences, is to do it an incredible injustice.

What we need is a bit of context. Let's compare internet exposure to a frightening adult world (that's frightening to parents, anyway) on the internet, to the exposure our young people have to the frightening adult world outside our door. I think you will be amazed at how little difference there is. Is there porn on the internet? Yes; is there porn in the real-world? Yes; are there extremes of political expression on the internet? Yes; are there extremes of political expression on the real world? Yes; is there more exposure to such things on the internet than there is in the real world?

Well, here's where it gets interesting: The correct answer is no, but most of you probably said yes, so lets back up a little. You're visiting New York with your children — do you take them to the Red Light District?

Of course not, you steer clear of ALL of those things and you leave indelible messages with your sons or daughters as to why it's NOT correct for them to venture near to such places — it's fair to say that you have principles and guidelines, rules to live by, that you imprint on your children to ensure they are not exposed to such elements. So let me ask you: Why should the internet be any different?

There is some inexplicable reason why ordinary earthlings like you and I think that the internet is a world without laws — a "wild west" of cyberspace where you get everything or nothing at all. Well let me dispel the myth: With just a modicum of understanding, and some timely support from an IT provider, you can implement a level of control over such things that allows you, as parents, to imprint similar constraints, without limiting your young person's enjoyment of the internet.

So how, then do we go about it? There are several offline things you should do, and they all start with getting the internet into the real world. What I mean by that is, don't be so fearful of it yourself, that it's an element of your child's life you don't discuss with them. As a parent, you probably talk to your children about school-life, right? Your son about soccer or cricket? Your daughter about hair and nails and dresses and all the other things?

Many parents don't talk about their young person's use of the internet because (1) they aren't aware enough of it themselves and/or (2) They don't want to be considered as "prying" into their child's online relationships.

The main thing to remember here is that how you approach these subjects with your children will decide how it will play out in the long-run — emotive, demanding exchanges with young people never work, so the first thing to do is to control your composure and remain calm no matter what your children say.

Next time, then, I will dig deeper into this, somewhat emotive subject, and give you some tips and tactics on how to get some respect for your online parenting, and to ensure a healthy flow of information between you and your children.

Next time, then, Digital Kids: The Critical Friend.

Bob Mellor is a senior business technologist with over twenty years experience in the IT industry. He is accredited by the British Computer Society as a Chartered IT Professional, and currently Technology Consulting Manager at Bermuda Microsystems Group. He can be contacted on bob@bmg.bm.