Cellphones are a part of our society now, firmly embedded in our communication infrastructure, and there is no escaping them: Accept it, it is the only way you will feel comfortable with it.

As I have stated before, it is a good idea to get one yourself, even if you rarely plan on using it - a pre-paid cellphone allows you to learn how to use one without runaway bills. It is also a very cool way to have a laugh and learn something from your children.

My father in the UK, recently got a cellphone and he is taking "ad-hoc" lessons from my nephews: They love the fact that they can expound their knowledge, and the fact they now have a trendy grandfather with a swish new cellphone. Get into it, you will enjoy learning about it from your children and it will - as a by-product - give their confidence a boost.

So, what not to do with cellphones? Well, the first thing to concentrate on here is the cost. Especially here in Bermuda, where call costs are a lot higher than anywhere else - it is important that children are generally limited to pre-paid cellular services. I am sure they will not like the fact that I said that, but, I have seen some of the runaway call charges made by generally responsible young people who overused it in its "novelty" period - that first few weeks in their possession. As a parent, you need to be tough here - keep a rein on the costs and do not waiver - young people will generally get the message.

Next, as I alluded to earlier, focus on etiquette. It is not the end of the world if the cellphone has to be turned off. Get into the habit of turning it off, or making it silent during meetings or dinner etc. Especially at the dinner table, it gets young people focussed on the face-to-face communication if you ask them to turn it off (and do not forget to turn yours off too).

Schools and other institutions often have rules about cellphone use - get the details from the adult in charge. As an ex-Scout Leader I have lost count of the number of times a young person damaged their cellphone whilst camping with me, despite being warned over and over that cellphones were not to be brought to camp. Responsible use of cellphones has to start at the beginning, and only gets embedded in a young persons psyche if you are prepared to withhold - be prepared to take the cellphone away if they do not stick to your acceptable use policies.

If you are like me, messages in class used to get passed from pupil to pupil in a chain across the classroom, on little scraps of paper: "Soccer at lunch"; "Jodie loves you"; "Help homework question 8"; That kind of thing...Today, that is all done using texting. The SMS (short message service), offered alongside standard cellphone voice services has changed the face of how young people - and not so young people - communicate.

It brings with it its own language - 'txtspk' or text-speak, which is a short-formed version of our language (ie "you" becomes "u", and "straight" becomes "str8").

Many people believe this to be a perversion of our language, still others say that we should not allow ourselves to be constrained by the current rules of language and allow the natural evolution of our language. Either way, you need to get with the programme again, otherwise you will get left behind...Want a lesson in txtspk*?>* Ur yng prsn shud b able 2 help. Next time then, I want to look at the somewhat controversial topic of potential health risks from excessive use of cellphones.

Bob Mellor is a senior business technologist with more than 20 years experience in the IT industry. He is accredited by the British Computer Society as a Chartered IT Professional, and currently Technology Consulting Manager at Bermuda Microsystems Group. He can be contacted on bob@bmg.bm His views here do not reflect the views of The Royal Gazette or Bermuda Microsystems Group, and are purely based on his personal experiences and knowledge.