HIV and AIDS nurse Kim Ball encouraged women and girls to be selfish and to take more responsibility of their sexual health.

Ms Ball?s job mainly puts her in touch with people before and after they are diagnosed with HIV/AIDS.

She deals with the pre- and post-diagnosis counselling and people who come into the Health Department for testing.

?We look at their lifestyle and risk factors,? she said. ?And I show them that, if within three months they have had more than one partner, then that is a risk ? although it really only takes one.

?But if you?ve got multiple partners then it is more of a risk. So we look at those risk factors and assess whether the person is using condoms.

?There are some who feel that they are in a monogamous relationship, so she is just on birth control and she is not using any other form of protection. So, I would encourage her to use a condom, because you don?t know where your partner is going.

?I would encourage safer sexual practices.?

Ms Ball said an important thing is to know the HIV status of your partner.

?Know it and if you don?t know it, find out,? she said.

?Act on it, you should act on it. I think in keeping in the theme of women and girls and HIV ? I would recommend the polyurethane female condom because I feel that it offers more protection.

?It doesn?t break like the male condom and females have more control of what?s going on with their bodies.

?It also has a wider base at the end so that less of his testicles are rubbing against you and it offers a wider protection base around the genitalia.

?When you think about it, there are more advantages of using the female condom.?

Although the female condom is not widely sold, it is available free at the clinic on Victoria Street, Hamilton.

?I think females need to take more responsibility of protecting themselves,? she said. ?You know you always hear, ?don?t trust any body? and if your partner is sexually active and you are not the first then you have something to be concerned about and vice versa.

?It goes both ways and you can?t tell by looking at a person ? nice job, white collar worker, bigger salary, so what??

?You have to think that way now, unless you have two virgins coming together. And what are your chances of that??

Ms Ball has discovered that many teenage girls are dating guys in their 20s.

?What can these men possibly have in common with a 15-year-old?? she asked.

?It is beyond me, but it is all about sex. Today there is such a numbness in as far as emotions, feelings, integrity and respect for yourself.

?It seems to be dwindling, where girls can make another feel that they should be doing it. When another says sheepishly that they plan to wait until they are married, as if it is something to be embarrassed about.

?That is terrible. And we have to encourage those young women and young men who want to preserve their virginity for someone who is worth waiting for. They need to be heard more and encouraged. But I understand that the reality is that people are not abstaining and they are taking risks.?

If a person is found to be positive, care and support is available.

?I?ll offer referrals to agencies like Star, who do a lot of care and support and they work with families,? said Ms Ball.

?We work alongside the individual and this is provided that they accept. Most do and only a few refuse. So we do a lot of hand-holding and I teach them that they can live with this virus, no one dies from this unless you absolutely refuse treatment.

?Or, if you have never had any treatment, then your immune system is so poor that you eventually die of AIDS.

?Maybe there are a few out there that decide that, ?I can beat this on my own? and continue to use intravenous drugs, are the ones that succumb to a death from AIDS. But most who take medication do not die of AIDS, they?ll die from something else.

?This is what I have seen over the last year working on this Island with people who have died of AIDS.?

With care and support and teaching people how to take their medication, it can be very basic like taking four pills in the morning and four in the afternoon.

?Having them 12 hours apart, as some people say, I can?t take all these pills at one time,? she said.

?It may be obvious to me to do that, but not to them so sometimes it is important to spell it out and not be to hard on a person who has forgotten to take their medication for two days.

?I just say let?s get back on track, let?s refocus here. Do you want to succumb to all these opportunist infections, one which is considered AIDS or do you want to live healthily?

?There is no reason not to.?

Ms Ball said she applauds the Bermuda Government for paying for the medication of HIV/AIDS patients.

?Many other Caribbean islands do not have the support,? she said. ?Unless you can afford to pay for it yourself.

?We are number one in that regard.?

Ms Ball said, when suffering with HIV, people really have to have a positive will to live.

?I probably would do my hardest to live if I have to take pills that were about an inch long,? she said. ?It is something that you have to do.?

She said when people are first diagnosed, they tend to pass through a series of emotions.

?They are devastated, shocked, in disbelief and in denial,? she said. ?There are no words that can help make you feel better.

?I try, but I know that I?ve not done a good job in trying to make a person feel better. You can say this medication will help you feel better, but they are not hearing anything else.

?It takes time for the patient and the family to come to terms with it. I have to be honest and I say it gently. But you know the lifestyle you have lived, and this is one of the consequences of it, but we don?t have to stay here.

?Give yourself a few days or however long it takes to be upset, but not too long because now we need to do some therapeutic things.

?Pity parties and grieving are part of the stages, but we need to move on. I tell them that I will move on with them through their stages.?

She said some people say they don?t deserve this.

?No one deserves this ? it is just an act that a person does which causes the virus to enter into their body,? she said.

?If you are living a life that is high risk then, after 25 years of AIDS being in the limelight and you are still not practising safely, or just believing that it is not going to happen to me ? what can we say??