Dear Annie: My husband is a groomsman for one of his very close friends. The bachelor party is supposed to be a three-day event in another state and will include at least one visit to a strip club.

I don’t approve of the strip club part, especially because at the last out-of-town bachelor party, my husband said he stayed in the hotel room and skipped the strip club. Two months later, I found out he’d gone with his friends but chose not to tell me. He said he didn’t want to upset me.

I still feel betrayed about that and don’t want him going on another such adventure. Should I put my foot down, or should I say nothing and have it bother me for who knows how long? — Confused

Dear Confu:<$> While we are not fond of married men in strip clubs, we also know that most such events are harmless. In the majority of strip clubs, the dancers are not permitted to be touched by the customers, nor are they looking to have affairs. However, three-day, out-of-state bachelor parties, with strip clubs and liquor, can lead to serious trouble and push trust to the limit — with harsh consequences. Most men do not want to miss out on events that include their closest friends, and wives who get in the way are often resented. But men who respect their partners will behave in a trustworthy fashion, watching their alcohol intake and calling home regularly, and will value their relationships enough not to do anything they will later regret.

Dear Annie: My 69-year-old mother constantly comments that she is really looking forward to the 50th anniversary party her children are going to throw for her. Annie, we don’t think it’s appropriate to throw a party, because Dad died eight years ago. Mom actually wants a big gala with family and friends. What is your opinion? — Oldest Dauer

Dear Daughter:<$> It is a bit strange to have an anniversary party when one spouse is deceased, but assuming your mother is perfectly lucid and simply wants to celebrate what would have been 50 years together, there’s no harm in indulging her, as long as the event doesn’t become tasteless schlock. Consider a small party of close friends and family, and perhaps include a tribute to your father.

Dear Annie: I truly need some advice. I am 45 and have been married to a wonderful woman for 20 years. The problem is, for 18 years, I have been trying to get my wife to communicate with me about our love life. We never talk about it before or after. Sex becomes the most boring, unimaginative moment we share.

I have suggested new things to spark it up a little (nothing crazy, of course). I have introduced informative books (unread), instructional videos (not watched), and anything else I could think of. She acts like foreplay is the worst thing in the world.

My wife is as beautiful as the day I married her. I think our special time together should be just that. I know sex isn’t everything, but I am seriously in need of a closeness she refuses to understand. Can you help? — Trying Not toray

Dear Trying:<$> Your wife may be too inhibited to discuss what’s going on in the bedroom. You need to tell her, in plain English, that intimacy is one of the ways you express your love for her and you want it to have more meaning for both of you. If she won’t talk about it, at least ask her to be open to new things from time to time. If she still refuses, it’s time to talk to a marriage counsellor.

Dear Readers: We are carrying on the tradition that April 2 be set aside as Reconciliation Day, a time to make the first move toward mending broken relationships. It also would be the day on which we agree to accept the olive branch extended by a former friend or estranged family member, and do our best to start over.