Dear Annie: A year ago, my husband and I ran into a financial roadblock when he lost his job and I went back to college. We had to move in with “Ryan’s” parents. Two months later, we found out we were expecting. The day we told his mother, she began treating us like children, saying we had no business having a child. She also told Ryan that I tricked him into getting me pregnant and suggested a paternity test.After two months of this, my mother-in-law decided our child belonged to her and she would raise him. She told me my car is not good enough for “her child.” She even said it was her responsibility to wake up at night when the baby gets up.

Ryan knows his mother says these things, but insists I take them the wrong way. I can’t say anything to Ryan about his mother or he gets angry. I’ve tried ignoring her, leaving the room and sticking up for myself. I have never done anything to offend this woman, but she has belittled me since the day I met her.

I understand this is her first grandchild and she is excited, but it feels as if she is trying to steal my baby from me. Please help. — Pregnant and AngryDear Pregnant> We cannot stress enough how important it is for you and Ryan to get out of your in-laws’ home and find your own place, even if it means postponing your college degree in order to get a full-time job. Your mother-in-law will not respect you until you gain some distance from her and prove you are a competent adult. The fact that Ryan will not stand up to his mother makes things infinitely worse. The future of your marriage is at stake.

Dear Annie$>I’m a 60-year-old man whose wife is disabled. The problem is her attitude. “Linda” gets angry over the littlest thing, yet doesn’t understand why no one wants to visit her. This has been going on for years.I’m healthy and active, but Linda is smothering me. She wants me to be at her beck and call. I can deal with her disability, but not her controlling nature. She doesn’t like me to see my oldest and closest friends. She complains when I go to work. There are times I’ll stop off at a coffee shop, just so I won’t have to go home.

I want more out of what’s left of my life. My kids are grown, so I think it’s my time now. I have fallen in love with another woman, but feel guilty about it. I can’t bring myself to tell Linda I want to leave. Even if the other woman does not work out, I want my freedom. I’m not the assertive type and try to avoid conflict. Any suggestions? — Wanting to Get OnDear Wanting: Does Linda know how unhappy you are? Before you give up, suggest that she see her doctor and ask about being put on anti-depressants. She sounds just as miserable as you. You also should consider marriage counseling. At the very least, give Linda an opportunity to address the issue before simply walking out the door. That’s cowardly and your children may never forgive y

Dear Annie: <$>You were way off base on your answer to “Isadora’s Husband,” whose wife is in a dance class and wears leotards. No woman who has been married for 33 years is “a trim, attractive, blonde bombshell” in anyone’s eyes except her husband’s. To everyone else, she is a deranged old lady walking around in ridiculous outfits. If she truly were “religious,” she would not flaunt herself in this manner. — Know Better

Dear K:<$> If “Isadora” married at 20, she’d now be 53, and could easily be a trim, attractive blonde bombshell. We don’t believe she is flaunting herself. She is wearing sensible workout clothes, and her husband is overly concerned. But thanks for making 50-something women everywhere feel like deranged old ladies.Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please e-mail your questions to anniesmailbox[AT]comcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, P.O. Box 118190, Chicago, IL 60611. To find out more about Annie’s Mailbox, and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.