Dear Annie: I live with the laziest, luckiest 63-year-old male. We’ve known each other for 20 years, and have lived together for the last ten (not married). “Ralph” hangs around the house six days a week, and all he does is sit, lie down and watch TV. He is obese and has diabetes, so he says he has to sit all the time because his back and legs hurt. The doctor has told him there’s no reason he needs to sit that much.This all started seven years ago, when Ralph was fired. He went back to school, but was never able to hang on to a job. I worked two jobs to support us. He was lucky, however, because shortly after he lost his last job, he inherited a huge sum of money from a relative. Now he believes he doesn’t have to work.

Our huge fights are over getting him to do anything at all. Whatever little he does, he does wrong, sloppily or halfway. I’ve written lists, he ignores them; he says he “forgets,” and often complains he has a headache, so he has to lie down (and watch TV).

Last year, I suffered a terrible back injury that left me unable to do much for nine months. Ralph really resented taking care of me. He wouldn’t clean or cook, and never hired anyone to help.

I am convinced Ralph has lost his pride, shame and guilt. I am sick of this man. He won’t work, volunteer or even get a hobby. I’ll be financially able to leave at the end of the summer. How do I hang on until then? — Stuck a While Longe>Dear Stuck: <$>A diabetic should not be lying around all day, watching TV. It’s possible Ralph is depressed, and if so, counselling would help both of you. If he won’t go, go without him. Then, if you still want to leave, use this time to make plans. You’ve been living together for ten years, which means your CD collection and books are mixed in with his, not to mention your bank account and mortgage papers might be in both names. You may need to see a lawyer. It will take time to disentangle yourself, so you’d better get started.

Dear Anni<$>Since 1927, May has been designated Better Hearing and Speech Month, a time to raise public awareness of speech and language disorders that affect 14 million Americans.Speech and language disorders take many forms. Babies can be born with these disorders, and accidental injury or illness can cause them at any age. Speech and language disorders can limit academic achievement, social adjustment and career advancement. Fortunately, most people with speech and language problems can be helped by qualified speech-language pathologists.

Speech-language pathologists work in schools, private practice, hospitals, clinics and other health and education settings. For more information contact the American Speech-Language-Hearing Association (asha.org) at 10801 Rockville Pike, Rockville, MD 20852. <\m> Monica A. Harwood, M.S., Highland, California.Dear Monica Harwood: Thank you for the information. We hope those of our readers who can benefit from such help will check out A.

Dear Annie: <$>This is in response to “Grossed Out in Connecticut,” who complained about people who talk with their mouths full.

I can tell him why I do it. We elderly have to speak whenever we have something to say <\m> mouth full or not. If we don’t, we may forget what point it was we were trying to make. <\m> Highland, Indiana

Dear Highland: We understand the need to speak before the thought leaves your head, but can you please try to swallow first or cover your mouth with a napkin? Otherwise, those watching may be a bit distracted and miss your point aay.Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please e-mail your questions to anniesmailbox[AT]comcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, P.O. Box 118190, Chicago, Illinois 60611, USA.