Dear Annie: For the past year, my family has been experiencing what I believe to be an unusual problem. We’ve noticed that our middle-aged father has been making annoying noises when he exhales. The noises are quite loud and impossible to ignore, and it never stops.At first, Dad only made this sound when he ate. Soon, he also did it when he was in deep thought. Now, it is all the time. I believe he can stop when he is aware of it, but he doesn’t even try anymore. It ruins our dinner every night, because my little sister attempts to mimic him or we have to speak very loudly. This only adds to the unpleasantness of it all.

Nobody can handle being in a quiet room with him for long. It drives everyone bonkers, and my mom confided that he even does it when they have sex. I cannot figure out what is causing these sounds. How can we deal with this? — Earplugs, Pleas>Dear Earplugs: Your father should have a complete physical and, also, a thorough examination by his dentist. It’s likely these sounds are the manifestation of a physiological problem that can be corrected. (Make sure the doctor is alerted about the noises, just in case your father keeps them under control during the examB>

Dear Annie: <$>I am a registered nurse and work in a very busy hospital. I have put together a few suggestions for hospital visitors to help make things better:1. Your loved ones are in the hospital for a reason, and they need our care. Please do not use their hospital room to hold a family reunion.

2. Please do not argue with us when we ask you to follow hospital policies.

3. Please leave the room when asked, without negative comments or cold stares. The patients’ privacy is more important than your comfort.

4. Please let the patients speak for themselves, if they are able.

5. Please realise that the nurses are extremely busy. We don’t purposely make our patients wait, but we have to prioritise our tasks.

6. Don’t shower the patient with flowers, posters, plants or other paraphernalia. Cards are nice, but bigger items should be sent directly to the patient’s home.

7. When your family member has a roommate, be considerate of the other patient. They deserve privacy and a quiet atmosphere.

8. Don’t bring trays of food into the room or have pizza delivered and expect the nurses or other staff to clean up after you.

9. And finally, to the patients: Don’t tell me how much you wish you had gone to another hospital instead. I am doing the best job I can. — Burning Out F<$>Dear Burning O <$>Thanks for the useful suggestions. Please don’t burn out too quickly — hospitals need all the nurses they can get.

Dear An: <$>I’d like to add my two cents to “No Senior Citizen in Salem, Oregon”. It is not claptrap that all people over a certain age are going downhill. It is public knowledge that all people over the age of 25 are, in fact, sliding down the other side.I joined the bifocal group about 30 years ago. I celebrate the fact that we live in a time when medical science has given us the opportunity to live out our lives with new parts to replace those worn out. I had a hip replacement five years ago, without which I would undoubtedly be in a wheelchair. Two years ago, I had cataracts removed and was blessed with sight I haven’t had since I was 40. I am in much better shape than my mother was at this age.

I agree that getting older should be embraced and cherished and that we should be thankful we are being helped to do it more gracefully. — Pushing 84 in Reading, PennsylvaniaDear Reading: <$>Modern medicine has certainly contributed to quality of life. We like your attitude.

Dear ie: <$>My friend, “Zoe”, and I are both 16. We met this past year. On one of our first nights hanging out together outside of school, Zoe confessed that she had been severely sexually abused by her father from the time she was four until she was 13. She said she finally told her mom and it was “all worked out”.I told Zoe I’d be there for her if she needed to talk. Recently, she confessed that when she said it was over, it really wasn’t, but she swears it is now. Her mom isn’t divorcing her dad or calling the police or anything. Furthermore, Zoe has a brother who is a few years older and leads a messed-up life. She thinks he was abused, too, but she isn’t sure.

Annie, I don’t know what to do. Zoe made me promise not to tell anyone, but I feel my priority as a friend is to do what is best for her well-being. Unfortunately, I don’t know what that is. If I tell the police, I’m not sure she will admit the abuse, in an effort to protect her father. But if I don’t say anything, he is likely to keep abusing her. Please help. — Concerned in CalifoaDear Concerned: <$>You have a good head on your shoulders, and Zoe is lucky to have you in her life. Talk to your parents about this. If school is still in session, they can decide if the school authorities should be brought in. Meanwhile, tell Zoe she owes it to herself and her brother to report the abuse so it can be investigated, and so she can receive counselling. You cannot force her to do this, but she should know you will stand beside her if she decides to speak up.

Deannie: <$>My fiance’s brother is getting married in July, and the couple recently sent out 200 invitations. I didn’t receive one, and my fiance’s invitation didn’t say “and guest”.This was a huge slap in the face, and I am humiliated — especially since I am going to be a member of the family soon. When we asked them about it over dinner, they laughed it off and said they were trying to save invitations and that I was definitely invited.

It doesn’t make sense to me. What do you think? Do you believe them? — Wondering in Lubb, TexasDear Lubbock: <$>You should have received an invitation with your name on it, either separately or as part of your fiance’s. However, since you are going to be a member of this family, it would behoove you to believe this was an oversight. It serves no purpose to hold a grudge, so please attend the wedding as if you belonged there — because you do.

D Annie: <$>Thank you for your response to “Nameless Wife”, who asked about separate bedrooms. I even cut it out as a reminder and will keep it close at hand.I suffer from major sleeping problems. After enduring endless nights of little or no sleep, I decided to move into another room. Finally, sleep.

However, I encountered and took to heart the opinions of others and began feeling guilty because I was not sleeping in my husband’s room. I even believed my marriage was headed for divorce if we didn’t share a bed. So, I moved back and haven’t had a decent night’s sleep since. I thought this was the way it had to be. Then BAM! I read your response and my world changed.

You’re right — who cares what anybody else thinks? I am confident my marriage is strong and any decisions we make together are in the best interest of both of us. — Sleeping WellDear Sleeping: This is the first time you will hear us say we’re glad our column put you to sleep. Sweet dreams.