Dear Annie: I am the mother of a nine-year-old girl, “Tandy”. She has been friends with a group of girls almost since birth, but this year (third grade) has been terrible.Tandy attends private school as well as church with these girls. One of them is very mean-spirited and constantly telling the others not to play with my daughter. I have tried talking to the mother of this girl but have gotten nowhere. Her attitude is “kids will be kids”.

I know it’s normal for friendships to change through childhood, but how do I explain this to my sobbing daughter? It breaks my heart to see her get off the bus crying because someone wouldn’t play with her or sit next to her on the bus. How do I handle this? — Kelli>Dear Kellie: It’s a shame that these girls are so nasty and have parents who refuse to teach them that such behaviour is wrong. You cannot turn these girls into better human beings, so you need to work on your daughter’s response.Don’t sympathise too much, or Tandy will see herself only as a victim. Be as positive and as empowering as you can. Tandy is not too young to understand that those who demean others are on a power trip, and can only build themselves up by dragging someone else down. And worse, they feed off her reaction. Help her see that these immature girls are not worth her time, energy or emotional investment. Teach her to ignore them and to find other, more decent, classmates to befriend. It’s a hard road, but in the long run, she will be better off and can hold her head up with pridB>Dear Annie: <$>I just finished reading the letter about the young girl who needed to use deodorant. What do you do when the problem is your 60-year-old supervisor who thinks deodorant causes cancer? Some days, the odour is so strong, you can smell her from another room.We have given “Meg” gift baskets with scented deodorants and lotions, but she doesn’t use them. We once spoke to her supervisor, thinking there might be a physical or mental problem that should be addressed. Things got marginally better for a while, but now they are worse than ever. I hate to go running back to her boss, as Meg is already under a lot of pressure. Any suggestions? — Asphyxiated at WorkThere were some studies done a few years ago that looked for links between cancer and aluminium chlorohydrate in antiperspirants, and parabens in both antiperspirants and deodorants. According to the National Cancer Institute, the results were inconclusive and no concrete evidence was found. We hope you have the courage to take Meg aside, privately, and say she is likely unaware that she has a noticeable body odour. To ease her concerns, inform her that there are natural deodorants (available at health-food stores and other places) that do not contain either of these suspect chemicals.

Dear Ann <$>I read the letter from “Disappointed in Louisville, Kentucky”, whose husband doesn’t want a vasectomy. I am 78 and had a vasectomy when I was 31. My late wife, who was an RN, asked me to have one. It greatly increased and improved our sex life, and we were active and intimate until she passed away.

I am getting married again very soon, and I can assure you that our sex life will be wonderful. My vasectomy had no effect on my ability to perform.So, Kentuckians, heed the info, and have the man get off his duff and get to the doctor pronto. He will only regret that he didn’t get the procedure sooner. — FloridaDear Florida: <$>Thanks for the testimonial — and congratulations on your upcoming marriage.