Dear Annie: My husband and I have two small boys, ages two and four. We live in a small town close to my parents. Dad is a retired mechanic and has turned his garage into a workshop.He repairs neighbours cars and small engines. He loves to have my boys “help” him in the garage, but he forgets it’s a dangerous place for kids. As Dad gets older, he seems more reckless with the boys. Last summer, he took our oldest son for a ride in his golf cart.

He went up a steep hill in their backyard and the cart flipped over. My son suffered a broken arm and numerous bumps and bruises. I thought that would wake Dad up and he would be more careful, but it hasn’t changed a thing.

When I ask Dad not to do something with the children because it’s too dangerous, his feelings get hurt and he sulks. I love my father dearly and want him to be part of my boys’ lives. How can I make him understand he needs to think more about their safety? — Baby-Sitting for GrandpaDear Baby-Sitting: Your children’s welfare is more important than Dad’s feelings, period. He cannot be trusted in this area, and he may not be able to change. If your mother is not an effective guardian, your father should not be permitted to play with the boys without your supervision. Please don’t wait for a tragedy to happe

Dear Annie: I am an 18-year-old boy who just graduated high school and will be attending a great university in the fall. I expected the freedom of finding a summer job on my own, but I thought wrong.My father told me he still expects me to work at his store this summer. For the past five years, I’ve spent every summer at my father’s building supply store doing menial labour ten hours a day. The work is hard, especially since I’m outside the entire time, and around here, the heat index exceeds 100 degrees. To say the least, I do not enjoy it, and I’d like never to work there again.

My father says he’ll pay me more than I could get anywhere else and that the strenuous exercise will do me good. The job also gives me the freedom to take entire weeks off at a time for my church youth camp, family vacation and a concert I am planning to attend with friends.

I still can’t help but feel my father is controlling me. I don’t see why I can’t challenge myself to find a job in a different business. Am I being unreasonable, or should my father give me some freedom? I detest this job more than anything. — Frustrated in MississippiDear Frustrated: We understand that this job is unfulfilling, but you do realise it will be nearly impossible to find another paid position that will allow you time off for family vacations, youth camp and concerts.Decide if you want to earn money or not, and if you are willing to give up all that free time — because that’s the trade-off. This also is probably the last summer you will feel forced to work for Dad. Once you are in college, you can make arrangements for a summer job on your own.Deannie:<$> I have a suggestion for “Depressed and Disappointed,” who discovered her husband had a personal profile on an online dating agency so that he could get free porn.She should tell him she is going to have her own personal profile to see if there are any good-looking guys in their neighbourhood. He’d probably call her every name under the sun, none of which you could print. Then, and only then, he might realise how unreasonable his own behaviour is. Ladies — don’t get mad, just get even. — D.Dear D.: We certainly hope he wouldn’t find it a turn-on. Or worse, that she finds someone else online. But thanks for the suggestion.Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please e-mail your questions to anniesmailbox[AT]comcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, P.O. Box 118190, Chicago, IL 60611.