Dear Annie: Lately, my mother has been all over the place, mood-wise. For starters, she has accused me of stealing from her and hitting her (neither is true). When a family member became seriously ill, Mom accused her of faking it. One of my in-laws was diagnosed with cancer, and Mom rolled her eyes and said, “Big deal.”Mom has pretty much cut off all contact with the family. She hasn’t talked to any of her relatives for years, yet all she does is complain about how they cheated her and used her. My dad has been dead for two decades, and my mother grows angry with anyone who has anything nice to say about him. I have good memories of Dad and don’t appreciate hearing her insults about him and his side of the family.

Mom had a feud with a former neighbour and would call the police and drug hotlines constantly, trying to get the woman arrested. I don’t know if this woman sold any drugs, but my mother called the police so often, the officers contacted her doctor, and her doctor contacted me.

I told the doctor of my concerns, but he offered no advice. Meanwhile, my mother just gets angrier and more paranoid. She remembers conversations we never had, yet insists her memory is perfect and that I’m forgetting on purpose. If I could forget anything, I’d like it to be her behaviour and how horrible she makes me feel.

I have a sense of obligation to watch out for her, but if she weren’t my mother, I’d probably walk away. I see a therapist to vent my frustrations, and it helps, but my relationship with Mom is not improving. Is there anything I can do? — Sad DaughterDear Sad:>Call Mom’s doctor again and suggest that she be evaluated for dementia, and, if that is ruled out, ask the doctor if he would refer Mom to a therapist who can prescribe medication, because she seems mentally ill. You also can contact the Alzheimer’s Association (alz.org) at 1-800-272-3900 and ask for assistance.

Dear Annie$>I am a 65-year-old widow who would like to find another husband someday. I am active, attractive and own two small businesses. I’m even a pretty good singer. I joined a seniors’ dating site, and in one month received 335 messages from men my age and younger. The problem is, the ones I reply to don’t answer me. The few who do respond become invisible after a short time. One man was so pleased with my answers to his questions, he wrote, “Thank you for being you!” He called me twice and then disappeared.

I know if they met me, they’d like me, but I can’t get them to meet me. Do men think 65 is old even when they are older than that? — Angie

Dear Ang<$> Unfortunately, many of them do, but not all. It might work better for you to meet men in person. You sing? Join a choir or a musical theater group. Take dance lessons, work for a political candidate or travel. Get out there and let your friends know you are interested.

Dear Annie: I read your answer to “Wondering in the Northeast,” who has gastric reflux and can’t eat anything on the menu. I’m a banquet manager, and we handle many special dietary requests. Having advance notice is always great, and our chef can usually accommodate any request. “Wondering” should ask the bride to put her in touch with the caterer, then let the caterer know what her food requirements are.

I would rather serve special meals than have guests bring their own food. Also, to all vegetarians eating in a banquet situation, let your host know in advance of your dietary requirements. Our job is to make all guests happy. <\m> Here to Serve in South Daa

Dear S.D.: Our thanks to you and all the caterers who wrote.