Dear Annie: I’m a single mom in my early 40s, very fit, with no children currently living at home. I recently joined a running club in my community. In this club, I met a terrific guy. “Dane” is in his late 40s, in excellent physical condition, funny, charming, a true gentleman and very handsome. He’s financially sound and in a good profession. Basically, he’s the guy I wish I had met 20 years ago.Dane and I meet once a week to run on nearby running trails with our group. From the first glance, I haven’t stopped thinking of him. I have fallen in love with this guy. Once, I invited him to lunch, since our jobs are close to each other. During the meal, I asked why his wife isn’t at any of our runs. He confided that his wife is extremely obese and not into fitness. He also admitted that he would love to have her companionship when running, biking and going on motorcycle rides. A couple of weeks ago, I ran into Dane and his wife in a department store, and he was right. She is huge. I’m guessing she weighs close to 300 pounds. He didn’t say it, but I suspect he’s not in a happy marriage.

Dane doesn’t have a clue how I feel about him. Should I tell him? — Floundering in Florid>Dear Floundering$>You do not have the right to break up a marriage because someone’s wife is obese. If you want a man in your life, find one who is available. If Dane wants to cheat on his wife, he will let you know, but we strongly urge you not to encourage him, or more than your running shoes will be covered in dirt.

Dear Anni<$>What do you think of parents asking for $50 donations to help fund their child’s European vacation?This is not a needy family, and we feel put on the spot. I have heard of kids doing car washes or yard work to pay for special trips, but that’s not what is going on here. Is it appropriate to do this nowadays? Most people around here are appalled. — Baffled in New Engd<$>Dear Baff: <$>No, it is not appropriate. It is extortion. Don’t let them intimidate you into donating if you don’t wish to. Simply say, “Sorry, we can’t contribute. We’re sure Jeremy can find a part-time job if he needs extra cash”.

Dear Ae: <$>I read your response to “Concerned Aunt”, who felt her niece was being inappropriately medicated for a diagnosis of mood disorder.Some very important issues are being overlooked here, particularly the statement that her sister keeps her apartment “in such a state that it looks like the ones on the news where they find dead animals”. It could be dangerous for a child living in such a home. I also am concerned that Mom’s mental health issues affect her ability to parent well, and that there may be possible mental effects to the child.

I would suggest to the writer that she review these issues with the appropriate child protection authority in the area. Standards and laws vary from state to state, and if the local agency is not able to get involved, she may be referred to appropriate resources. I know people often do not want to cause problems in their families, but reporting is frequently confidential and/or anonymous. Child Help USA provides a 24-hour hotline, 1-800-4-A-CHILD (1-800-422-4453) (childhelp.org) and offers crisis intervention, information, literature and referrals. All calls are anonymous and confidential. — A Social Service WorkerDear Social Service Worker: <$>The sister and daughter are already seeing a therapist, which is a step in the right direction, but if things don’t improve, we hope “Concerned” will take your advice.