Dear Annie: I attend summer school with “Jon”, who has a mild intellectual disability. Jon is a very nice boy, and everyone likes him, including me. But I have one problem. We’ve become such good friends, he now has the idea that I love him. He constantly tries to put his arm around me when we sit next to each other in class, and he calls me his “sweetie”. I know this is not his fault, and I completely understand he doesn’t mean to make me feel weird, but I am really uncomfortable. I’ve tried to explain it to him, but even when he says he understands, he’s at it again the next day. I asked my teachers to speak to Jon, and they said not to worry because it’s unintentional. It reached the point last week that I yelled at him to stop touching me, and I made him so upset, he hit his desk. I apologised a billion times, and he forgave me, but now other kids at school think I’m a monster. What makes it worse is there are nasty rumours spreading about me being prejudiced. — V>

Dear V.: Try to ignore the nasty rumours. Anyone who knows you will understand what happened and can explain it to those who are spreading gossip. Meanwhile, the teachers need to be more involved in this situation. Jon should not be touching you without your permission, regardless of his developmental abilities. He must learn to differentiate between friendship and romance, not only for your sake, but for hiB>

Dear Annie: <$>My husband’s brother and his wife hold an annual combined birthday party for their two children. This year we were invited for snacks, which included raw vegetables and dip.My brother-in-law dipped his carrots directly into the bowl of dip, ate a bite, then proceeded to dip the same carrot again. We all saw him double dip. When my sister-in-law served the cake, she licked the frosting off her fingers after cutting each slice and used those same fingers to place each slice of cake on a plate. I was mortified. How can we politely turn down the food? — California Coot<$>Dear California: It’s easy enough to say, “We’ll skip the cake because we’re cutting down on sweets”. But you might get hungry eventually, and at the rate your in-laws are licking the food, you’ll starve to death. It’s OK to take your sister-in-law aside and say, “I’m sure you don’t realise you’re licking your fingers and then placing them on the cake. Some of your guests might object”. You can do the same with your brother-in-.

Dear Annie: <$>“Not So Grand” wrote that she and her husband had given money to their son and his wife for the grandchildren’s pre-school, and paid for vacations for their whole family. When she saw a picture of the son’s birthday party (to which they were not invited), she slipped up and made an unkind remark about it to the granddaughter. Even after grovelling at the daughter-in-law’s feet with an apology, they are only allowed to see their grandchildren on the parents’ terms.You said she’d have to swallow her hurt and toe the line if she wanted to see the grandchildren. Well, let me give her some better advice. Since the son has no backbone, tell him if he wants his children to have a relationship with their grandparents, he either has to step up to the plate and see that his wife apologises for her attitude or the relationship is over. There are lots of little children who would be thrilled to have such loving grandparents. — Jacksonville, FloridaDear Jacksonville: We understand how tempting such a response would be, but we doubt many grandparents would choose to give up their own grandchildren because their daughter-in-law is nasty.