Dear Annie: I have a younger sister in her 30s. “Raylie” has been married for three years and has two toddler boys. She recently built a beautiful home and asked my family and me to come and help her move in. Our mother was also there.While we were in the house, Raylie and her husband got into a big argument, and we thought it was going to become physical. This was very upsetting to my mother and my family, and it caused our visit to be cut short. Shortly after, I spoke with my mother and family members, and they all expressed concern for Raylie and the kids. They explained they had witnessed other instances like this in the past.

I thought I should talk to Raylie, but when I expressed my concern over the telephone, she hung up on me. The only conversation we have now is when I initiate it.

My mother wants me to keep calling her and make her come around.

I invited her to my son’s high school graduation, but she didn’t respond. My heart is torn, and I feel maybe I should have stayed out of it. But then I think about her little boys. Any advice? — Concerned Siste>Dear Sister: You cannot make Raylie “come around” if she is unwilling, and a big argument does not necessarily constitute potential physical abuse. However, we agree with your mother that you should keep in touch with Raylie, not to lecture her, but to keep an eye on the situation, and so she can turn to you if she needs help.B>Dear Annie: <$>Every birthday, my in-laws send a $100 cheque to each of my two boys and my husband. With me, they’ll send a $20 cheque.I feel a little insulted and hurt by this. It’s not really about the money. It’s the principle. I would talk to my husband, but I know he’ll tell me it’s nothing to be concerned about. Should I just keep my mouth shut and not look a gift horse in the mouth? Or do I need to speak up? — Disenchanted Daughter-in-<$>Dear Disenchanted: You do realise your in-laws do not owe gifts to any of you, in which case, whatever you get should be appreciated. However, it is not good policy for them to treat you like a second-class relative, because it creates the exact hurt and ill-will you are describing. Tell your husband how this makes you feel, and ask him to explain it to his parents. We hope it he.Dear An: <$>I read the letter from “Lonely”, the 60-something widow who was looking to re-enter the dating scene.I am also a 60-something widow who would appreciate good male company and maybe remarriage. After several years of looking, let me tell you what’s out there. Not much.

We 60-types are a small part of the population. Most of the really nice guys are already taken. The single ones are usually single for a reason. Not to mention we’re competing with lots of younger women.

There are some 75-and-up guys out there, but they’re either too set in their ways or very time-demanding. I’ve seen some successful and happy friendships and marriages among older folks, but the odds are against us. — Lonely, T/B>Dear Lonely, Too: <$>The odds may not be great, but it doesn’t mean you should fold up your tent. Let your friends know you’re looking, keep active and get involved in community activities. You never know what might happen.