I'm a single mother of a wonderful 12-year-old boy. He gets A's in school, plays sports and reads voraciously. I am divorced from my son's father, who lives nearby, and we share custody.

My ex thinks our son is unmotivated because he doesn't make extra effort in school and he's losing interest in playing guitar, etc. Recently, my son told me his dad calls him lazy and this does not inspire him to work harder, but, rather, has the opposite effect.

I told my ex this was counterproductive and hurtful. His response was, "Well, it's true." I said that regardless, he should not voice that opinion in front of our son. My ex declared, "It's not my problem" and walked out. Now he's not speaking to me.

Given that my ex doesn't care what I think, what can I say to my son about his father's insensitive words? Concerned Mom

Children have a tendency to live up or down to what others think of them. Parents who label their children can do particular damage.

Your son does well in school, is involved in athletics and "reads voraciously." We don't know how much more his father expects of a 12-year-old boy. Losing interest in a musical instrument is fairly common and not an indication of laziness. Before your son becomes determined to prove his father right, we strongly urge all of you to get into family counseling. If your ex won't go, go without him.

My husband and I have some really annoying neighbors, "John and Alice." They moved in two years ago. Alice is tolerable, although we don't have much in common, but we don't like John at all. He is really creepy. He stares at me and doesn't talk. When we try to engage him in conversation, he rarely has anything to say, and when he does, it tends to be idiotic. He makes a joke out of everything and he is NOT funny. Other neighbours have met them and feel the same way we do.

John and Alice constantly ask us over for dinner or to go to a movie, and I have turned them down at least 20 times. They just don't get that we're not interested. They have no friends, and I have never seen any of their siblings, although I know John has two brothers.

I try to avoid them, but every time they see me or my husband doing yard work, they come over to chat and ask us to dinner. What do I do? Annoyed

These are your neighbors, so it's best to stay on polite terms, but you don't have to socialize. When John and Alice invite you to join them, all you need to say is, "Thanks, but we can't make it." Keep repeating it, no matter how many times they ask.

So, "Second Fiddle" wants to banish her husband's beloved dogs because one of them nipped her toddler? Kudos to her husband for his loyalty to his other family members.

A nip from a female dog is more likely to be a correction to a smaller pack member than aggression. Was the child pulling her fur or her ears or climbing on her? Rather than accept responsibility for teaching a child how to interact properly with a family pet, Second Fiddle simply goes mommy-hysterical, blaming the dog (who was there first), and you back her up. A dog is a lifetime commitment, not a "thing" to be discarded when it's inconvenient. Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania.

Since a dog bite is so dangerous to a child, the dogs need to be trained not to bite the baby until the baby is old enough to learn not to annoy the dogs. It doesn't matter that the dogs were there first. When a dog and a baby cannot learn to coexist peacefully, it's the dog not the child that has to find a new home.