Friendship is over when trust is broken
Dear Annie: I have been friends with "Sherry" for seven years. We worked together but stayed in touch when we left that job, as we are in similar fields.
Sherry is very well-connected and has helped me, but she often tells office stories that smack of high drama. A "very good friend" of hers recently returned from maternity leave mildly depressed and shared the information with Sherry. Soon, Sherry was telling me she was afraid of this woman's demeanour and would have to discuss it with Human Resources. I could not talk her out of it. The woman soon left the job. However, this same woman happens to be a key professional contact for me. If I ever need to use her as a reference, I pray this door will not be slammed in my face because of my association with Sherry.
So, I've learned my friend is a backstabber and very unsympathetic. The issue now is that I find myself questioning her actions. Last week, she invited me to lunch at a place we've never been. She was really excited that we both had the day off and said she wanted to have a drink with lunch. This, too, is unusual. We never drink at lunch. It was especially odd in that instead of phoning me, she put all of this in an e-mail. After we got to the restaurant, I ordered a beer, but Sherry couldn't seem to make up her mind. Just then, in walks a group of five executives from a major company with which I interviewed in the past. One executive is on a fundraising committee with Sherry.
I just can't get over the suspicion that Sherry set me up, a la "Look at Missy ¿ she's drinking in the middle of the day, poor thing." Am I being paranoid? Do you think I should get into therapy ¿ or avoid Sherry? ¿ Missy in Michigan
Dear Missy: We think the friendship is over, whether or not Sherry is setting you up, because you no longer trust her. If you want to stay on good terms for professional reasons, we recommend you see Sherry less often and always behave in a manner above reproach.
Dear Annie: My son is getting married soon, and my husband and I are pleased to be hosting the rehearsal dinner at a restaurant the night before the wedding. Guests will choose multi-courses from a pre-arranged menu. We would prefer no alcohol be consumed during the event. How do we make this known to the guests in an appropriate manner? ¿ No Slur Intended
Dear No Slur Intended: You can tell guests in advance that no alcohol will be served, or the server can do this when bringing appetizers or if asked. However, you can do nothing about those guests who insist on drinking before they get there or those who order a drink on the side, or worse, the lushes who carry their own booze with them.
Dear Annie: I am writing in response to "Lois", who said her doctor husband gives his patients prescriptions good for a year before requiring another doctor visit. She said a year of refills is the legal limit. This is not entirely true.
The FDA puts restrictions on many types of drugs, especially ones that have addictive properties. Medications such as OxyContin, morphine, Ritalin, etc., can only be filled once, and the prescriber needs to write a new Rx each time. Drugs such as Xanax or Ambien can only be refilled for up to six months or five times (whichever is sooner), but many physicians will not prescribe more than a month at a time.
No doubt the original writer needed to see her new physician for every refill because of these regulations. Please inform the public that these are laws that pharmacists and physicians must follow. ¿ Kansas Pharmacist
Dear Kansas: Thanks for the clarification. Addictive medications should not be treated lightly, and it's beneficial that patients be closely watched.