Our second-grader recently started having a nervous stomach and saying he has to throw up when he thinks about school and when I drop him off. He got so hysterical crying and begging not to go that I didn?t make him go two days last week. Today I left him at school crying and telling me he had to throw up and his tummy hurt. My son is at the top of his class and has been since kindergarten. He likes to know about everything and always asks questions. He told me that a classmate and ?friend? kicked him and called him names. We talked to the principal, and he has addressed this issue with the other student. Do you have any advice to help our son? Anxiety can cause ?tummy aches?, and bullying kids can cause other children to feel anxious. The classmate is surely not being a friend, and you did the correct thing by reporting the problem to the principal. Hopefully, the bullying has disappeared. Your son probably needs a little help in assertively telling the other child to ?quit it, or I?ll report you if you don?t?.

You also did the correct thing to insist that your son stay in school. I?m hoping that your son?s anxiety has disappeared by now and that the boy who was mean to him has learned to be kinder and has become his friend. If your son continues to experience anxiety, it?s important to check with your family physician to be sure there isn?t a physical cause of his ?tummy aches?. If you rule that out and the anxiety continues, seeing a psychologist would be appropriate.

My wife and I have a concern about our three-year-old daughter. A couple weeks ago, she was climbing on the handrails of our staircases. We told her to stop, but she persisted to sneak off to keep doing this. We asked her why she wouldn?t listen to us, and she replied that it was fun. We finally got her to stop this, but now we have a bigger concern. It now seems she ?arouses? herself by rubbing her private area when she?s alone. At first she said she was acting like she was going to the potty. Now she sneaks off, and when we catch her, she is really embarrassed. Again, we?ve asked her why she does this, and she replies that it?s fun. Can you explain what our daughter?s actually doing? I didn?t think that young children have these ?sexual feelings?. We?re very concerned as we try hard to make sure our daughter isn?t exposed to anything that would be unhealthy to her development.

I know you?ll find it reassuring that masturbation is very common for three-year-old girls. While little girls have feelings of arousal, they?re not aroused to the extent that adolescents and adults are, but the rubbing does, undoubtedly, feel good. Tell her that she may only touch herself when she?s in the privacy of her bedroom, but that it?s all right as long as she?s alone. She?ll undoubtedly grow out of this masturbation stage and busily enjoy her other activities.